When I have overdone it in my life something happens that will slow me down.
This morning I woke up with a pain on my right side. This is the same pain that I experienced some months ago. The first time I felt that pain I just let it go, I chocked it up to the fact that I was tired and by the end of the second day I could not move, and went to the emergency room in excruciating pain. Turns out I had thrown my back out. The days before, I had over-exerted myself in doing house work, yard work and a lot of bending and pulling and lifting all in one day. This had taken its toll on my back. This morning I could feel it again. Yesterday I washed and cleaned the van, cleaned the fish tank, clean the kitchen and my room and went shopping - all before 4:30 because I had to go to a birthday party for 6:30. I danced, I laughed and I enjoyed myself with my fiancée and this morning I had to roll out of bed.
Today I missed service, I laid down and my brain could not go to sleep. So many things are going on in my life and my children's lives and in the world - some of which I can control and some I cannot. I am not obligated to have the final answer in any discussion. I am obligated to take care of myself so that I can continue to take care of those that mean the world to me.
I have missed writing and looking inward. I have missed being still and quite so that I can write. When I need to slow down and reconnect my God makes me.
I am on course to retire and in order to do that I have to slow down and know that I am now 53 and not 33 - good and bad in these numbers; I choose the good.