This is the longest time that I have ever not blogged and I thought about it all weekend. I am retiring at 55 and this soon to come date is looming every present in my mind. I spent Thursday night inserting pictures in my blogs as my writing coach Teresa www.WritingCoachTeresa.com has encouraged me to do. This process takes a long time, trying to find the right picture for the words I write.
I spent Friday morning at Creflo Dollar's meeting at the Paramount Theater in Oakland. www.creflodollarministries.org It was one of the best run meetings that I have ever been to and the people who were there at 10 a.m. in the morning on a Friday were happy to be in the presence of people who love the Lord. Creflo spoke about the word honor and he pointed to 1 Samuel 2:30 where he drew a sermon from the section that says if you honor the Lord, He will honor you and if you despise the Lord you will be disdained. He then went on to say that a definition of the word honor is to carry weight, make heavy, weight in and the question was "does the Word carry weight in your life?" I take notes all of the time whenever I go to hear anyone speak even at church. Creflo then asked us to replace the word honor with carry weight and then restate the scripture and it ould read that if you carry the weight of the Lord, he will carry your weight. Well, everyone in the audience said a collective amen, hallelujah, thank you Lord and oh my God - statements that people say who shout out doing a message that touches their spirit. It touched mine. After speaking about this for a while I was moved to feeling the exact same way about this message that he wanted us to feel and that was that God helps us during times when things are what we think is way to much for us and he steps in and carries our troubles. He then said read the Bible, so you know what the preachers is saying is true or not and then we can make a decision. His interpretation of the word honor to carry weight is not in the standard Webster dictionary; neither Greek nor Hebrew translations. I really can't remember if he said this was a Jewish, Greek or Hebrew meaning of the word honor. Creflo's request for us to read the bible stayed with me until last night when I decided to look up the word honor and its meanings. I didn't find 'carry weight' in Websters dictionary www.merriam-webster.com. The words for honor; honesty, fairness, or integrity in one's beliefs and actions; yes. I looked in Strong's Concordance on-line www.eliyah.com/lexicon.html and could not find 'carry weight as a meaning of honor"'. I looked in the Hebrew interpretation of honor on-line and I did not find carry weight. Is it there? I hope so. If not, well it is just not. I hope someone out there knows. I was thinking that because he said it has to be true. I hope so. I left from the meeting and went directly to the office. I was on fire and ready for whatever the Lord had planned for me that day. Nothing phased me and that was a good thing.
This really began to bother me on Saturday. Why? This bothers me because I want the words that he said to be true. I can see how it can be so. I will say it is refreshing to know that even if carry weight is not a definition of honor; the mere fact that His Word tells me to honor Him and He will honor me, His Word tells me to honor my father and mother and He will honor me is still good enought for me. I believe from seeing it manifest in my life that God has in fact always had my back. Even when it has taken a while for me to get it - He has always been honest with me in word and deed when I have been honest with Him and his representatives. Representatives being showing respect and giving a little bit of me to everyone I encounter from the person who rings me up at the cash register checkout line, to the person who may cut in front of me in traffic, to the waiter who keeps filling up my glass of water and to the person who parks my car for me - I honor them and He honors me. What a wonderful Father God to have in our lives who would carry what we can not carry until we can. I mean to be able to lean on him when we have done His work and to know that by doing His work for people who are not famous, or are some elected official, or even some PTA or sports mom or dad - to help just because, means that we will receive a reward. That reward will not come right away however it will come in God's time. He also emphasized the idea that changing your thought will change your mind. And he added that "change isn't change until you've changed". A simple statement, a true statement. A statement that is so much a part of me that it is me.
Service today was filling as usual. The pastor's message today was about receiving our gift. He said that this gift is not tangible; you can't see it or touch it however you can feel it. He added that you can't keep doing the same thing if you have Jesus in your heart. I agree with that. This is so obvious when you see people preaching or talking to you about one thing and then you look at their lives. Creflo said that you can tell where a persons treasure is when you look at 2 things his checkbook and his calendar. Where you spend your money and your time is indicative of the person you really are when no one is looking.
My goal is to be more than what people see. My goal is to be more that what I can see. Today my middle son baked cookies, my older son met someof his basketball teammates at the park and they played some ball, my daughter was drawing on the sidewalk with chalk and then went down the street to her girlfriends house.
My Mr. Cooper does have a Mrs. Cooper and I smiled. I didn't see her, she didn't come to church, he and I had our every after church Sunday hand shake and the church kiss on the side of the cheek. At first I was a teeny bit sad and then as the Sunday continued and I went to do my yard work I realized what a good thing. At least my attraction towards men who really are not capable of commitment is changing. As my diva sister said to me that your Mr. Cooper is coming, and I said, I know.
Later, my children and I cut the grass and they played and then I potted some plants and watered the grass and admired what I am becoming. A woman who is after the heart of God.
Yolande Barial; Sensually Spirit, A writer