I need extra money.
I’ve been thinking about my acting ability. I think I could do it. I think I could do well.
I’ve been watching a lot of TV lately. And things like NCIS – or Law and Order.
And I know what part I would play. I could be the corpse on the table, the crumpled body
on the street by the mailbox. I’ve even been practicing “NO, no don’t shoot," and then falling down.
I watched Erykah Badu. Although I think I'll fall with my clothes on.
There are a lot of older women that are killed in TV series. I do really well at staring (you know the vic with the eyes open.) I’m still flexible enough to look like I just fell and landed that way… my limbs weirdly contorted. I'm confident I could play the bitchy bizarre old landlady...who lives in the darkened apartment and reluctantly opens the apartment of the perp for the detective. Or maybe I could play the seductive bitchy bizarre landlady...or just the seductive landlady.
The question is how do you get started. I mean, I can’t just walk into Morris Talent Agency and fall down…or can I. Yes, I know about joining SAG.
I’m just wondering…how long would it take for me to get a part of the dead old lady. Or the eccentric neighbor who pushes her cats around in a perambulator. I could be the wandering woman in the nursing home who actually saw the murder. Three or four lines wouldn’t be too difficult.
The uniformed officer first on the scene: "You're sure it was a man.?"
"Did you get a good look at him?"
"Thanks, here's my card, if you remember anything call me."
See I think I could do that.
I'm ready for my closeup."
I’m just thinking. I could be an actor – yes, they call them actors even if they’re female.
The difficult part is, they’d probably want to cast me in a horror movie. They seem to be most popular. Then I’d have to say no.
I don't like horror films.
Oh well, there goes my career.