It's the most ... wonderful time ... of the year. And the most frantic and anxious and mind numbing and expensive. The rewarding part is my ongoing seasonal side job as a lumpy elfin holiday gift consultant, where it is an honor and a privilege to be able to pass along some hot tips for this year's Christmas shopping lists. None of which involves surplus uranium tailings from sales to the Iranians.
More than a few of us are still struggling to climb out of financial holes so deep we're being tickled by the tendrils of redwood roots, but we're not that difficult to shop for. Dollar coins. Discount clothing. Used food. Lint-covered gum and pennies. Roadkill wrapped in the Sunday funnies. Re-gifting welcomed with open arms.
It's the other end of the spectrum that concerns me. The least needy of us. Wall Street is shoveling out record bonuses. Again. What to get the person who can buy anything? Perhaps the gifts you've lined up for your financial planners won't be considered up to snuff. Well, I'm here to convince you to let those worries go. After all, it's the thought that counts. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.No, seriously. To ease your stress, we here at Durstco have come up with a catalog of prospective Christmas gifts that any Wall Street tycoon would be honored to find under the holiday shrubbery. And who knows, maybe in appreciation, he or she will slide you insider status on the newest IPOs. To be honest though, probably not, but what the hell, here we go:
Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Your Wall Street Broker Buddies.
10) A peacock. Provides the double benefit of being both the ultimate symbol of excessive extravagance and extremely difficult to care for.
Read the other nine and the rest of this op-ed on AOL News.
Thanks as always to Red Room's Gina Misiroglu for putting me in touch with the AOL people, just one of the ways she and Red Room are helping authors promote their work.