I pledge. You pledge. We all pledge. Pledge allegiance to the flag. Pledge to stop smoking and drinking. As much. In front of the kids. NPR and PBS are ridiculous with their annoying pledge drives. Our leaders pledge and pledge and pledge to stop ignoring the past. Then they don't. And in every second living room in America you can smell Lemon Pledge. These are the pledges of our lives.
But this campaign season, the whole pledging thing has rocketed out of control with broken O-rings. To where anybody who plans on getting up close and personal with a Republican candidate in the near future might want to carry an oath-repelling umbrella because pledges are raining down like frog parts after a methane gas explosion in the amphibian wing of an aquarium.
Read the rest at Huffington Post Comedy.