Yes, there’s an exclamation point in the title of my new eBook. Because it’s that good. Been scrambling to get this thing published before the November presidential election, and somehow, it went and got did. The process almost killed me. So celebrate life by buying it. Please. It’s called Elect to Laugh! A Hilarious, Common Sense Guide to American Politics (2012 Election Edition). And it has a real publisher! (Yes, they’re good enough to deserve an exclamation point, too.)

This little eBook e-follows the epic saga of all the e-characters we’ve come to love: Palin. Trump. Bachmann. Perry. Christie. Cain. Gingrich. Santorum. Romney. Also the Democrats, who aren’t as naturally funny, but we equal opportunity political humorists can always depend on them for plenty of material. Thank you Joe Biden.

If you care about who winds up being Commander-in-Chief, this is the eBook that will tell you who’s going to win, and why. It features the best of my syndicated columns for the past couple months, plus new, never-before-seen charts and graphs detailing crucial aspects of the race like which candidate is more metrosexual.

Although naturally invested in the decision as to who’s going to run the country, my concern was admittedly a bit larger about getting this thing published. Traditional publishers did awful things like look up the BookScan numbers on my last book, which is clearly unethical. If not illegal.

Also, they usually take years to put out anything, and my material is topical. So, who you gonna call? Ivory Madison, the CEO of Red Room, who claims to like my stuff for some ungodly reason. Turned out she was working on partnerships with publishers on behalf of Red Room authors, or something like that. Something big-picture. Right brain stuff. Fast-forward a few months…

…and this authoritative voice is on the phone saying, “Congratulations, Mr. Durst, it's an eBook.” Whew! Slow exhale. Smile. Ivory actually found somebody who wanted my book. And she wrangled special, better terms for Red Room authors with an eBook publisher who I’d never heard of but seems to sell a lot more books than traditional publishers. Don’t you love that? eBook. Probably won’t stain if you spill a Bloody Mary on it. Then again, bound to be some electrical issues.

But even in this brave new world, some things remain the same. “Alright! It’s going to happen!” “No its not.” “Yes it is… Maybe.” Then you go to the website and the cover is on the front page, and your name is spelled correctly and its all pretty darn exciting.

Now all we need are hundreds of thousands of people to buy it. Okay, middle four digits. Twelve? You? How about you and my wife each buy six copies each? Priced at $5.95. Come on, you’re practically making money. And you have choices. You can buy it from my beloved old friend and online home, Red Room, from my publisher and new best friend forever, Hyperink, or from the evil empire scheming to replace both authors and readers with laser-taloned robots, Amazon. You can also buy it on Barnes & Noble, but really, who buys anything from Barnes & Noble?

Keep in mind that if you buy from Red Room or Hyperink, they’ll provide you with all the possible eBook formats included in the $5.95 price, so you can read it on a Kindle, Nook, laptop, mainframe, camera obscura, IMAX, whatever.

And if you do read the book, please post wonderful comments here, concentrating on the really positive ones that make me sound funny and smart and sexy and tall. Thanks for your time. Drive safely, and don’t forget to tip your waitress on the way out.