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Will Durst's Blog

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Apr.15.2014
In a move as surprising as limos at a state funeral the GOP has misplaced their ticket for the clue train. Yes, again. Just when you think they get it, party leaders move heaven and earth and that place due south to prove that not only do they not get it, they have never gotten it and aren’t really...
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Apr.09.2014
According to a new UN report, there’s good news and bad news about global warming. The good news is—it’s worse than we thought. Yeah. That’s the good news. The bad news—you don’t want to know. Because then there’s worse news and ultimately, “holy moley, is that an asteroid the size of a mini-...
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Mar.31.2014
These days, the only thing harder than making money is hanging onto it. Easier to protect dandelion fuzz in a tornado. Everywhere you go, everyone wants a taste. Their only job is to get a grip on your money. And some of these folks are pretty darn good at their jobs. Solicitations. Donations. Hand...
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Mar.23.2014
After an absence of 25 years, it's downright ducky to be able to welcome back one of the great socio- politico conflicts in the history of the planet. How about a round of applause folks, because the Cold War is back and it's colder and warrier than ever. Like an old friend popping up on your...
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Mar.03.2014
Alright. Woo- hoo. We’re partying now. With the kind of enthusiasm normally reserved for sorting Phillips head screws from flat head screws, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer publicly vetoed SB 1062, legislation that would provide legal cover to businesses denying services based on the operator’s...
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Feb.24.2014
For all those who have spent the last couple of months shoveling out a car, you should know we’re at the tail end of awards season. And best be advised to hunker in a bunker wearing a Kevlar overcoat, because gold plated statues are being tossed about like air kisses at a gown fitting. Like clouds...
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Feb.17.2014
Easy to imagine an arena full of Phish fans raising and waving their lighters to honor US Attorney General Eric Holder for suggesting the feds might help states that legalize pot by allowing dispensaries to utilize banking services. Way to go, Super AG. That’s so incredibly righteous of you....
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Feb.11.2014
No matter who you are or where you live or what you drive or whether you thought The English Patient or Anchorman 2 the funnier movie, it is time to take a stand on plastic bread. Here’s a hint: most of us are against it. Formaldehyde rinsed coffee beans? Not big fans. Flame retardants in our...
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Jan.28.2014
WHAT YOU NEED TO PLAY: 4 taxpayers: 1 old rich white guy investment banker type wearing a Brioni suit. (Bank Boy) 2 ordinary folks wearing jeans, 1 in a blue work shirt, the other in a white shirt, no tie, sleeves rolled up. (the Jeans) And 1 person wearing clothes that look like...
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Jan.20.2014
Avast me mateys. Off the starboard bow. Thar she blows. Looks like the Chris Christie juggernaut hit its first iceberg. And harpoons are flying in from multiple quarters. Back on the Jersey Shore, Hillary Clinton’s people and Rand Paul’s people are partying so loud and hard, Snooki and JWoww’s...
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Jan.13.2014
The dawn of the new year signals civilization’s return to several grand traditions including the ancient hoary one requiring we professional columnists to trot out the tried but true “Ye Olde Predictions Piece.” Either that or the even triter but true “Ye Olde Resolutions Piece.” But we wandered...
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Dec.22.2013
As the new year approaches, many of us in the dimly lit brotherhood of computer clumsoids (and our number is legion) feel the sharp prod of IT experts who blow themselves blue encouraging we Luddites to change passwords once a year like smoke alarm batteries or high school girlfriends or underwear...
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Sep.16.2013
Well,this is odd. The heck with an exit strategy. We can’t even work out an admittance maneuver. The automatic door-opener that proved so reliable for presidents past has short- circuited and keeps slamming shut whenever Barack Obama tries to enter the war store with his empty shopping cart....
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Apr.19.2013
And now for a few choice words about the recent Senate vote which scuttled universal background checks on gun purchases. And the first three of those words are... Yellow- Bellied Cowards. Here's a couple more. Gutless Craven Chicken-Hearted Invertebrates. Dastardly Lily- Livered Spineless...
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Mar.01.2013
Q. Can you please explain what the heck is going on in Rome? A. Well, Pope Benedict XVI retired and now Catholic Cardinals from around the world are congregating to elect a new one. Q. When was the last time a pope retired? A. Thursday. Q. No, before that. A. July 4, 1415. Gregory XII stepped down...
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