I want to dance in a nightclub in Paris, I want to sing in a cabaret
with my hair falling across my face, a sulky
voice and red lips. I want to disappear in a gypsy
caravan with a man whispering sweet
nothings, leave behind a chain of broken hearts.
I want to be as smart as Sherlock Holmes
and a scholar of ancient texts, my glasses tap tap tapping
on the desk as I ponder ancient languages, sudden epiphanies.
I want to be twirled by Nureyev. I want to sit zazen until the mountain
dissolves into snow blossoms. I want to drift down a river
on a riverboat, a royal flush in my hand.
I want red shoes, I want to tap through the tulips. I want joy
to float me over the disappointments like a horse
jumping the hurdles, knowing he will land on his feet.
I want to embrace the world like Mama Storyteller with thousands
of children on her lap. I want to be a rainbow
flaunting my colors across a darkened sky. Wish and I’m gone,
bequeathing pots of gold. I want to be salty
and brave as the sea, depositing a bottle
on the sand, ready for the cork
to be popped. I want to be the one to find the message.
I want to dance the seven veils, remove each one
until all that is left is a song
and all you see is a shadow. I want rose petals scattered
on my bed and red candles
floating down a stream and sunsets
streaming from my arms. I want to be
kisses that are flung to the stars. I want to not
care if I am a rose or a weed.