Answer the following five questions, then look below to determine your I.Q.
1. You have found a very presentable aviator jacket in a high-end second-hand clothing store. You purchase the jacket, put it on, and leave the store. Several armed men in dark suits surround you, push you into a Dodge Durango, and demand that you pilot their small aircraft on a drug-smuggling mission. There is only one surefire way to get out of this situation and it is a seventeen-letter word. What is that word?
2. You are taking a tap-dance class at a local Arthur Murray's. You become aware that you are not the only one in the class who knows Morse Code when a dancer across the room looks at you and taps “Why is an old fool like you taking tap-dance lessons?” State, using dots and dashes, exactly what you would tap in reporting this uncalled for behavior to the teacher.
3. You are at a Christmas party sponsored by your employer. Raffle tickets are on sale. The raffle prize is: “A private dinner with A.J. and B.P” Those two people are not identified but you have a hunch they are Arthur Johnson of accounting and Bob Parker in retail sales—neither of whom you can stand. However, there is the off-chance that the initials refer to Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Make a mathematical determination of that off-chance and state your answer as a decimal fraction.
4. You fill your dog's water bowl too full. Your dog takes a drink, causing water to spill. The puddle travels across the kitchen floor, under the refrigerator, and over to the wall plug, causing an electrical short and then a fire. Describe this series of events as a quadratic equation.
5. Give the Romanian translation of the word George Washington would have uttered upon being told that someday the first names of the three main candidates for president would be Newt, Mitt and Barack?
Answer: If you looked to the right of these questions, saw the ad for the Gershwin biography and purchased said book, your IQ is 200-plus.