Patterns, I function well when I have structure and patterns. With systems in place, I feel more secure. Today, I reached out to a friend to help me restore some fiscal order in my life because simply put, how things went down this month were sloppy. I hate sloppy. When things are sloppy, the message sent is this: you're not worth my best. I don't have to treat you with respect. I mean I handled my finances in a sloppy way and what hurts is that it sets a bad example for my son. That can't happen again, ever. Though I reached a millstone and paid the rent in the apartment, it wasn't handled to my expectation. So some changes will be implemented first thing tomorrow. With the aid of my financial personal trainer, a exercise plan will be drafted and put in place and lets just say this, there will be some cuts across the board. My son deserves better. i deserve better and damn it, I am probably his best teacher. How in the hell can I expect him to look to me when I can't look to myself. So i feel good about that. This is probably one of the hardest but most critical things I can ever learn-- managing the money... Speaking of teaching. Today, Red Chief and I went to our new haunt to watch the adult kickball games and break him into soccer practice and foot ball practice. To me, seeing him kick the ball, catch the ball and even throw the ball makes me giddy. Ok, that said, since he played my games, I played his :-) hop scotch. When you are with your son, especially at these ages, it really makes you feel proud because, we weren't watching TV, but we actually got out and played. He ran, he jumped he got to be a kid and it made me feel like a kid too. So back to hop scotch, he threw the rock and I had to jump or however the game is played. In the background I hear these young brothers playing basketball. Its all good, I mean the brothers are getting their hoops on but in the process these young guns are cursing like they been drinking act up juice. Dropping the F-Bomb, using the N-Word i mean just acking N-erish. I really wanted to leave the area but the hop scotch set was in the same area, so being a good dad, I endured as much as I could. After a while I was like enough.. this is putting a hurting on my hearing and my son is too young to have his ears polluted to this crap. I couldn't beleive I was about to pull an act out of my ex wife's repertoire but i did. With Red Chief on my shoulders as I was walking away, I thought to myself, somebody needs to politely put the brothers in check because after all this is a public facility. So, with a certain degree of caution, I stepped up to 2, 5, well 8 young cats. Now mind you this was in the Briar Creek Community Center so I knew the cats weren't like straight up Gs. At best, they were young teens living their NBA fantasies trying to act all hard like cement. This is my Will Smith Moment: So I stepped up to em, with my son on my back. I was respectful, I was like "excuse me can I holla at yall for a second?" Immediately one rolls up on me and says "What, its about the cussing right?" Well actually no, the first amendment, gives you the freedom of speech. You can say whatever you want to say, it doesn't bother me. That said, I do have my three year old son here with me. He's too young for that type of language. He doesn't know what it means, which is a good thing. But each one of you do. Look I'm not trying to tell you what to do, all I'm asking is that you tone it down when you see kids out here that's all." I don't know who was more shocked them because somebody stepped to them and didn't judge them or me for having the nerve to vocalize my concern. They probaly thought I was crazy because any fool could see there were more of them than there were of me. I think what I can take from this is that respect gets respect. I didn't roll in there like Aunt Esther thumping the bible, I just rolled in as not just a dad, But a Black DAD with his son, stating an opinion, and logical request. Guess what, they conceded at least in front of me. That said, I felt good because I stood up for my son, he saw that, and the B-Boys saw a Black Man take a stand for his son. Though it was small, maybe I planted a seed for growth.