National Enquirer Wins Pulitizer!!!
It could happen.
It seemed appropriate to appropriate the grabby headline technique of the tabloids. The National Enquirer, best known for rumor mongering, suddenly looks almost respectable. The rag hounded John Edwards about his supposed paternity of a child with a woman other than his wife. The senator adamantly denied he was the father. He denied, lied, and lied again. Now he says, "Sorry." Turns out he is the father of little Frances Quinn Hunter.
"Hopefully one day, when she understands, she will forgive me," he said in a statement today.
What's a little white lie when you've got your eye on the White House, right? Every kid understands that Papa's political ambitions come before the acknowledgment of her own existence.
Especially when she's old enough to understand that Papa finally came through for her right before the launch of a tell-all book by his former aide that reveals, among other things, that Papa asked the aide to pretend he was Quinn's father to protect Edwards" from the embarrassment.
Quinn probably will forgive her dad. Kids are extraordinarily forgiving of their parents' mistakes. But he shouldn't count on the rest of the world to do the same.
That's because from now on, standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, I'm going to be thinking, "Well, maybe aliens really did abduct George W., a 500 pound baby in Mexico ate its own crib, and a hog farmer in Iowa messing around with genetic engineering bred a piglet with the face of Elvis but tastes just like chicken.
Disclaimer: Implied headlines have been exaggerated to convey the emotional truth of the story.