Product: Cleavage Cover Posted by Vivian McInerny, The Oregonian January 06, 2009 10:00AM Cleavagecovers4you.comBefore
Breasts are useful body parts. They feed babies. They launched the bra economy. They keep Hugh Hefner and his Bunny pals from the unemployment line.
But they can also cause undue harm.
Leave it to cleavage to distract from anything else a woman might be doing, say, discussing nuclear physics, saving polar bears or picking pockets.
Cleavage Covers to the rescue!
These handy accessories take the hoochie koochie out of low cut tops, wrap dresses and other fashions. The cotton blend lace thingy stays in place with medical-grade hypoallergenic body tape and extends your wardrobe.
Remember dickies? Those were bits of shirt collars or turtlenecks that fit under sweaters without adding bulk? Think of Cleavage Covers as dickies for your breasts.
The point is, the extend your wardrobe. Say you were wearing head-turning-slashed-down-to-there dress when you get a call from the principal of your kid's school asking you to come in to discuss junior's behavior. Whip out your Cleavage Covers conveniently stashed in your purse, tape in place and admire the transformation from red hot mama to concerned parent.
It's amazing how a little bit of lace can class-up a gal.
Cleavage Covers sell at shops in Ohio and Minnesota but it would be a crying shame if you had to go to those places just to buy one when they are available online at Cleavage Covers for 19.99. (Plus shipping and handling, said in a fervent whisper.)RESPONSE Vivian McInerny, I don't know who you are, but as a man, I will not stand for this.
Take the cleavage away?
What's next? You gonna try and ban air?
If you want to talk about nuclear physics or saving polar bears go ahead, I'm a big boy, I can handle that WITH a nice view. In fact, I submit that a little cleavage enhances those kinds of conversations.
I don't think you understand the ripple effects this will have on men in our society: What's our motivation now? Why shave, shower, or even getting out of bed in the morning? What's the point?
I hope you will reconsider this crazy notion. Don't take this away from us.Inappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by dundies on 01/07/09 at 2:01PM
well said, brandon!Inappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by Vivianblog on 01/07/09 at 2:14PM
I had no idea that cleavage gave meaning to your life! I have just the answer for you. On the back pages of old comic books, you will find mail order products that include magic X-ray glasses that allow you to see through anything!!! That's right, anything!!
The illustration shows a guy looking at the bones of his hands but I'm sure you could come up with more interesting things to look at.Inappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by Vivianblog on 01/07/09 at 2:16PM
Have you noticed that the black Cleavage Covers looks like a censor strip?
Rather than forcing the owner of said assets to purchase a cover-up, I think all men should buy blind folds.
VivianInappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by dealwthit on 01/07/09 at 3:22PM
Considering what's going on in the rest of the real world - there are far more pressing matters to handle than worrying about how much or how little someone is showing.Inappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by Vivianblog on 01/07/09 at 3:41PM
Considering what's going on in the rest of the real world --- I think we need to lighten up.
It was not meant to keep us abreast of any crisis. Just aimed to be amusing. Apparenlty, I, fell flat.Inappropriate? Alert us. Post a comment
Posted by brandon1 on 01/07/09 at 3:57PM
If only. I tried all the x-ray glasses when I was 12 and I'm not falling for that again.
It sure would be cool though - imagine the lead bras you all would have to wear.