It started with those anti-bacterial wipes available at grocery stores. We’re supposed to wipe down the handles of our shopping carts before touching them because they are invisibly icky with germs and goop and such from other people’s grimy palms. (Never mind that those same grimy hands are squeezing the Charmin and grapefruits and God only knows what else in the grocery stores after catching a sneeze or a cough and we can’t swab the world with anti-bacterial wipes.)
In ancient times, royalty distinguish themselves with jewels and crows and scepters. Now clean is queen. The upper crust can separate themselves from the masses with a barrier of cleanliness.
It’s very fashionable.
That’s why we loathe/long for/must have PlaneSheets. These are airplane seat covers that you bring with you to cover up that dirty, icky residue left behind by previous passengers. Did you know that people shed skin like snakes? Gives us the heebie geebies. Babies leak all over the place! We should all travel with little Dust Busters while we’re at it. Some Fabreeze, too.
PlaneSheets come in zebra stripes, leopard spots, denim, chenille or camouflage but we’re holding out for the double C Chanel print or nothing. They fit over the headrest and cover the entire seat - leaving room for the seatbelts, natch - and they are machine-washable. Or you can get two packs of disposable ones. They sell for $13-$30.
Our favorite of all: They come in coach and first class sizes. Can’t you just see some passenger springing $3,000 extra buckaroos for the right to sit at the front of the plane, and then another comes to take the seat next to them but - wait! - she first makes-up her plane seat with PlaneSheets while all those Joe Schmoes behind her wait to board.
We sense a trend in the air.
And why stop there? How about TriMet bus seat covers? MAX? Movie seats? That stinky conference room chair? The sky is definitely not the limit.