Much in the same way a conservative hates the SUV drivers who blatantly defy the death of the world at human hands, I hate the casual writer who so easily becomes  a success apparently without trying. Maybe hate is too strong a word, but there are times when its kills me. Take Stephanie Meyer for instance. I just watched a Sunday Morning segment about her and she's so young and breathless about her success with her Twilight series that she still personally approves all friend requests on her MySapce page.

Disgusting.

Its remarkably hard to not be angry, and mostly at myself, at not having the opportunity for such easy success as Mrs. Meyer has managed. Less than a year from blank page to top seller from Little Brown. Its enough to make a man cry. I've never been afforded the simple luxury of just being able to sit down for an unspecified period of time and just write. I don't get that option. That kind of thing takes being comfortable, and yet, some of our planet's greatest writers have been born of strife and destitution. 

I'm not one of them, either. I'm not a political prisoner or in exile from my beloved country. I'm just a nerd who works far too many hours and has far too many fatastic ideas in my head. It all makes for a very annoying writing environment. When I do get time to sit down and write its either for work or one of my web sites because I'm comitted to those, as well. Why do those things take precedence over my passion? 

Mostly because they represent revenue, an asset which is in very short supply these days and is required to survive. The need to spend money is almost like being a political prisoner. I'm trapped by my need to make sure that my family is taken care of, an effort which neatly eliminates my ability to spend time writing. In the rare moments I can sit down and write I find it difficult to coalesce my thoughts around the blockades set up by work, troubles with bills, and other issues. 

Maybe, just maybe, there will be a day when I will be allowed to sit down and write and then succeed or fail on my own merits. I hope I'm not dead by that time.