Today I realized I’ve been a fool. It’s no one’s fault and I take full responsibility, but that doesn’t change the foolishness.
I’ve been here before, but it’s been a long time, and this one was a long drawn out doozie.
I have never mastered the art of hiding or pretending to be something else, wearing a mask. I’m not good at it. I’m overly expressive and sort of a sloppy giver of my time and energy. That will hopefully never change.
People are interesting and takers come in all shapes and sizes. I really should have seen this one coming. I thought I was done with certain lessons, but evidently I’m still figuring this one out.
Friendships need to be a two way street. Mutual time, respect, appreciation and energy. All of it needs to flow both ways for it to work. I continue to walk down the one way road expecting it to turn into a two way street somewhere up ahead. It never does and inevitably I’m hit by some sort of large truck.
The upside is the truck always knocks some sense into me, I pick myself up and I’m all the wiser. The truck hit me today, I had a stunned minute on the asphalt and I’ll be better tomorrow.
I’m changed, I’m smarter and I’ll recognize this particular one way street the next time I’m tempted to turn.
Navigating…adding that to the list of things I’m still working on. Learning to spot the roadblocks, the unnecessary detours and steer a clear path for myself and my own well being.