I remember Katlyn's first day of kindergarden. I put her on the school bus because she wanted to be a big girl and take the bus. I then proceeded to follow the bus to the school so I could make sure she made it and take pictures.
She was my first and I was a little...neurotic. The first anything is hard. Most of the angst is wrapped up in the unknown. I've had two other children start kindergarden since and while I worried about them too, nothing was like the first.
Doesn't mean that I love the other two any less, but I'd already been through it. I knew that the chances of the bus tipping over or catching fire were slim. She made it to class, her teacher wasn't an evil hag, she wasn't beaten up in the bathroom for her lunch box.
Things went well.
There were ouchies on the playground and not everyone was nice to her and I suspect she wasn't always nice. Katlyn is in college now. We've survived many firsts and she's wonderful.
My first book comes out in a week, seven short days, and it's out there for anyone to read. It's set in 1929 and I love the characters, but it's my first. What if...no one sees what I see? What if my bus doesn't just flip, but it flies right off the cliff? That could happen. Who knows, I've never done this before.
I shared my thoughts with Michael this weekend and he said, "Of course there will be people that don't connect, don't like it. So. Who cares, you wrote a book and someone thought it was good enough to publish."
I think he said something about Katlyn not needed three dozen pencils for kindergarden too. So annoying.
Writers say it all the time, "My books are like children." Well, they're not quite my children, but they are personal. Like children, I want them to be loved, I want people to be nice to them and I want them to be enjoyable people others want to be around.
Seven days. It's survived many editors and it's dressed up in a pretty cover. Time to put this baby on the bus and see how it does. I suppose, like children, it really doesn't matter if other people like it. It's part of me that I've decided to share. It's a story I'm proud of and that's really all that's in my control, right?
I sound so confident and positive tonight. Give it a few days...