I'm Employed! (Deluxe)
Out of work for more than 18 months? Run out of federal unemployment insurance extensions? Well you just got hired and it’s the job of your dreams!
No more fighting for one job against hundreds of other applicants who would kill you for health benefits.
No grueling series of endless interviews where you lose out to someone willing to work for a warm place to sit during the day.
No more laying around naked under a dirty blanket while you stare out the window jealous of the Mexican teenagers who get to shingle your neighbor’s roof.
You’re a fully employed executive now, and you can never get laid off again!
Deluxe Feature Highlights
- Reorganize, merge and hire and fire at will
- Import endless bonuses and stock options
- High resolution salary checks (as large as you can spend ‘em)
- Sixteen different executive modes to choose from including: Ball Buster; Mr. Passive Aggressive; The Delegator; MicroMangler; and “Da Pimp”
“I once tripped a pregnant woman on her way to interview for a job I wanted, but now I can spend my time staring at my iPad in a heroin-like haze pretending I don’t have to use food stamps to feed my kids.”
2. Awesome Awesomenesssss!
“One minute I’m dumpster diving for trash I can sell to pay my rent, and the next I’m firing a whole division of US workers so I can ship their jobs to Cambodia – More Please.”
3. An American Epic
“Well worth the purchase price. Being able to look safely out the window of a corner office at unemployed workers rioting in the streets of Boston or San Francisco gives you a little boost that makes you want to scream ‘God Bless America’ …What a deal.”