I didn't have the normal post college life.
I didn't spend that last summer going crazy before going out to find a job.
I was on a plane to Thailand; I couldn't let my Thai love go.
My parents were afraid for me to leave.
Her two brothers warned me if I tried.
I knew she loved me, if she couldn't stand up to her parents, I would.
Six months at first, I was on holiday.
Two years back in the states she did her masters, we stayed close.
Then back home family problems and all.
I snuck back into the country, she bought my ticket, she paid my rent.
Once a week we shared a day.
I was young, what did I know.
Just that I loved her and couldn't let her go.
Then after 4 months we had to again say goodbye.
This time, I knew I was alone and not sure how to survive.
I didn't know if I'd see her again or when.
I tried to study, I tried to work.
Just not the same being alone.
Not the same not wanting anyone else.
She wrote me a letter asking why don't I write.
That letter was six months old.
Before that my parents didn't even know where I had been.
Just happened to call home to tell them I was alright.
Went home to see my family and went with my dad on a retreat.
His idea, thought it would help.
Abbot said a funny thing.
It's not enough to believe in God, you have to trust him, too.
He told me to trust Him now.
I wrote her back with divorce papers.
I love you but guess it's time to let you go.
You can't see me, I can't see you.
32 years old.
You're stronger than me, I know you'll do fine.
Sorry babe, I'll always have a broken heart
Will never love anyone like I do you again.
Then there was the race at Limerock raceway
me rearending the last car in the wreck.
The seatbelt broke
me going through the sunroof.
300 feet down the racetrack on my knees.
Dead in the hospital
waking up to giant spiders crawling across the wall
My mother screaming at me for scaring her like that
And then the letter...
A plane ticket
and the words, "NO you are not going to divorce me."
Ticket was for tomorrow.
Glad she waited for me
as are my kids Kevin and Estee...
Giving up and letting go?
Or just trust?