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My relationship with winter

From the safe warm ebrace of my dinning room, I can look out at the white blakent that coats my once green yard. A yard that was once full of life and warmth. It is as if gravity gave way and all the clouds in the sky have fallen and created white rolling hills. 

I have never been a fan of winter, even as a child. Last year I wanted to fix that. There is beauty in all seasons I just needed to find it. I wanted to love everything mother earth had to give me, even if it was cold and wet.  I tried to look at it in different perspective. It is the time of year for renewal.  Its time for mother nature to clean her plate and start anew. She recycles all that is old and makes it new again. What a fasicating thing nature is, don't you think so?  The beautiful and crisp snow hitting the ground as the sun shines on it. It makes the days brighter then normal, although those days are limited here. I eventually strapped on some skis and took my son's cross country skiing through some local trails, that in the summer  we hike. It was beautiful, cold and wet, but still beautiful. We talked, laughed, fell a few times, and really had the chance to enjoy each other. I haven't had that chance this winter. It has been cold, and when I say cold, I mean when you go outside it takes your breath away cold. I am starting to hate winter again. 

Winter almost makes me feel trapped and sickly. We rarely get sun this time of year in Erie,Pa. The sky has a sadness to it. It is so sad that it never smiles, and it never shares its smile with me. The air gives me a cold shoulder, like a person who cannot stand to hear me speak. Rarely does a bird chirp and I never see the chipmunks wandering my yard.  Life is gone. I miss it all so much it hurts. My skin is pale, my spirit is broken, and I feel empty inside without the sun. 

I can see how in times long ago they worshipped her. Her warmth brings so many things. She is the center of life.  So for winter to be so painful for so many is only expected. I look forward to her  making her apperence. I can feel alive again. Rake away the debre that was left over from winter and till the soil to let new life grow. I can sit quietly on my swing in the backyard and let the birds sing to me. I can take off my heavy winter clothes and roam barefooted in the grass. I can smell the sweet clean air and breath the warm air into my lungs.  Oh how I long for her, I desire her more then anything right now. 

 As I gaze out that back window in the warmth of my home, I try to see  the beauty in it all. I need to remind myself this is mother natures plan. This is her spring cleaning, doing away witht he old and bringing out the new. A new start in spring for our home, Earth. My fellow sun worshipers please hold on, she wont let us down. A new day is dawning and life will be rewnewed once again.

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I really enjoyed that, Tina!

I really enjoyed that, Tina! You reminded me of that poem by Charles Stater...

Of winter's lifeless world each tree
Now seems a perfect part;
Yet each one holds summer's secret
Deep down within its heart

Stay warm, mama!