"This book examines not just the statistics that show that children of divorce can't keep their own marriages together, or that children of alcoholics gravitate to dysfunctional partners, but why people have these problems, how they come to be, and, most importantly, what they can do to fix them." —Dr. Tessina
"I was raised to sense what someone wanted me to be and be that kind of person. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes." —Sally Field
Many parents have few tools to teach their children and little knowledge of how to provide a good example. As a result, family dysfunction often runs through succeeding generations like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering speed and power as it goes. Growing up, and learning to be responsible for yourself, is like standing at the bottom of that hill and not letting the dysfunction be passed on any further. It Ends With You.
In 25 years of counseling people in recovery, licensed psychotherapist Tina Tessina has worked with many clients struggling with similar problems-anxiety, depression, feeling out of control, relationship disasters, and a pervasive feeling that they don't know what "normal" is. No matter how old they are, they don't feel like they've really grown up. They never learned the confidence, self-motivation, and emotional management tools they need to live healthy, happy lives, because their families didn't provide good role models, structure, and information.
The exercises and guidelines in It Ends With You will help you finally understand what a functional family is, how its members are still affected by early experience, and how to develop the skills necessary for successful living and loving.












In The Groom's Guide (Citadel, 2004) Sharon Naylor says "The best [self help book] I've seen out there is It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction by Dr. Tina Tessina, Ph.D. (New Page Books, February 2003). Work through this book and you’ll undoubtedly clear away at least some of the old baggage you didn't even know you have. You’ll step out of your old habits, take a good look at them in the light, and see if you’re willing to bring unhealthy dealing skills into your new marriage. This book gives you new choices, worksheets, and solutions for a fresh start in your new life, not a repeat of your old one."