90
Pensé morir, sentí de cerca el frío,
y de cuanto viví sólo a ti te dejaba:
tu boca eran mi día y mi noche terrestres
y tu piel la república fundada por mis besos.
En ese instante se terminaron los libros,
la amistad, los tesoros sin tregua acumulados,
la casa transparente que tú y yo construimos:
todo dejó de ser, menos tus ojos.
Porque el amor, mientras la vida nos acosa,
es simplemente una ola alta sobre las olas,
pero ay cuando la muerte viene a tocar a la puerta
hay sólo tu mirada para tanto vacío,
sólo tu claridad para no seguir siendo,
sólo tu amor para cerrar la sombra.
90
I thought to die. I felt the cold come close,
and for all that I had lived, I left just you.
Your mouth was my earthly day and night,
your skin the republic founded on my kisses.
In that moment, all books came to a halt,
friendship, all treasures accumulated without a truce,
the transparent house we built . . .
all of these gave up living, except your eyes.
Because love, as life accosts us,
is simply a higher wave among the others.
But, ah, when death comes to knock upon the door,
there is only your glance for so much emptiness,
only your clarity for the end of everything,
only your love to close the shadow.
Translation: Terence Clarke
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Question
Were there other possible translations of "pense morir"? Or would the English alternatives all have been clear in the Spanish?
For example: Might a Spanish-speaking person have said "pense morir" to mean "I thought of dying" or would that have been clearly indicated with a corresponding construction such as "pense de moriendo" or something like that? (My Spanish no es muy bueno, y yo no tengo those little accent marks on my computer, but you get my drift.)
Was "I thought to die" a choice you made as the translator or a wording for which the original author left little doubt?
Just curious.
Pensé morir
Hello June:
Thank you for writing. "I thought to die" is actually the literal translation of "pensé morir," so I just went ahead and wrote it that way. There would be other ways in English of translating the phrase, along the lines you suggest. But I also very much liked the compactness of the phrase "I thought to die," and its old-fashioned, almost Emily Dickinson manner and simplicity.
I hope you like the poems. I'm nearing the end, you know. Neruda wrote one hundred of these love sonnets for this particular book. Translating them, for me, was an extraordinary, riveting experience.
Best, Terry
Thanks for the explanation
Very interesting!
And I admire the language skills and the ear for poetry that goes into what you do!