Coming home to a brave new world. My eldest fur baby is now well into his twelfth year, and has some common elderly issues. His are due to neurology, the vet informed me. So coming home is a mine field. We have cornered off the couch with a fence, and had tried a denim diaper from one pet store. It worked a bit, but slipped down and let the culprit member slip out, causing the mess we dread having to clean up; nothing like a puddle on cheap apartment carpet. Any activity excites him these days, particularly our homecoming. I would keep him in just the kitchen, and over night we do. But my husband and I work during the day, and I hate to think of the little guy there, cooped up in that small space. It is a one-butt kitchen for humans, so not that big.
Finally we researched and found online The Tinkle Trousers, designed obviously by someone with a sense of humor. It looks like a comfortable version of a BDSM outfit, fitted in thin black rubbery material. The black garment attaches in just the right places and comes up over his shoulders, leaving him plenty of room to move around, while keeping in any out pouring excitement.
We are relieved the dog can pee at all, before the Proin he would have trouble going at all outdoors, and wake up in a puddle while napping indoors. Now he can will himself to pee again outside, or not will himself to pee inside in the trousers. Changing a dogs diaper and having to wash his nethers was not something I ever imagined having to do, although I must say, is must less gross than changing a baby's diaper so far.
Onto early in the week humor part II:
This week my middle school classes have “midterms”. Way back in August, a calendar of non-sequential dates was given to us. As if an after thought and reminded mid-type, here are some of those dates I was given for this school year, in this order:
First Progress Report Nov. 16th 2012
First report card Jan. 16th 2013
First semester exams Jan. 7th – 10th 2013
First Parent Teacher Conference Nov. 28th 2012
…and on that list of random dates goes. We did not receive a reminder about these events, nor midterms until NEW YEAR’S DAY! I had decided after working Christmas that enough was enough, as a Jewish American I am officially taking important American holidays off, like New Year’s Eve day! Meanwhile, Midterms were to begin the following Monday we were told via email. Upon my return on the 2nd, a schedule of midterm dates and times appeared in my box. Then a second schedule was given to us, which I forgot about, and planned around the first.
Yesterday went smoothly. Today? All changed around. No meeting ever held, just ever changing colored copier paper with memos written and distributed randomly at all hours of the work day.
I went about my business, covered a discretionary gap with my 8th grade girl’s literature class as they awaited their Algebra midterm. Took myself responsibly to the computer room to “teach” computers, a role I was bait and switched into this year in the midst of my math and literature teaching. Stayed for the cute little first grade boys and taught the eager young'uns how to create a word search; they happen to have a good teacher, unlike some of the other hooligans who come into that room and are taught by some of the most inconsistent instructors imaginable.
Made my way over to the boy’s campus across the street. Was ready to wolf down my lunch when I heard another instructor yelling at a boy who was goofing around to go to the office, and he arguing and refusing to go. Jumping in to aide my coworker, I guided the stray youth to the admin. that be, where I was told I was supposed to start my 7th grade boys on their midterm back at noon. It was now 12:23. I told them my schedule said otherwise, I had taught computers, and hey! This young man was sent to the office and refused to go.
As I am the bad ass on campus, it was decided he would come to my class while my kids tested. I set up my students, the Rabbi kindly let me go snarf my sandwich while they tested for a few minutes, I came back and watched my students and helped them with their cumulative exam where needed. Most boys did just fine on initial tests. These concepts are hard, and they as most students of math and other subjects, will be revisiting and increasing their knowledge of them in future courses as they go.
A bright sunny afternoon. I gave the teens a permitted break after the test. Read and discussed some of Across Five Aprils with my 8th grade boys, and sauntered off for a trafficky journey to Trader Joe's and then home. Came into my apartment to my dogs. Karma, the old guy, had managed to poop as is usual since he is incontinent in every way. But there weren’t any puddles, and their wasn’t a wet Tinkle Trouser. And off we went on our walk around the base of some Hollywood Hills homes. Came back and into the garage so I could throw away trash and grab heavy items out of my car I had left on my first trip up to my place. Bodhi, the almost five year old fur baby played the car game where I tell him not to get in the car while I get my gear, he hops in anyways. I tell him out, out; he hops to the back and up behind the rear window. This dog who whines nonstop on car rides loves to play this game. I open the back door and he hops to the front seat, and finally out of the car.
Back in the apartment, I answer relationship questions from Heather, contemplate post call starting those book reports I have left to grade, and laugh at Karma’s BDSM lookingTinkle Trouser set up; humorous looking, but functional. In everything, there is a humorous lining, I am sure.