When you sent the shocking loud text yesterday, I was sitting about to go in to talk to my Rabbi boss about plan for now, get my paycheck. He is really a mench. All of my bosses, he, and my tutoring company boss I have worked for since summer of 2009 are really good people. Know how valuable I am, etc.
I tutor everything from beginning reading, reading for all ages through college level kids, and do all math basic through Alg 1 and Geo., plus writing program and study skills. Any and everything, and it shows in my classroom, it is nice to have that cross over of practice and honing of skills, tutoring to classroom.
This year: I teach 7 periods. I now know...too much, ya? My analogy is I am like the little Dutch boy with his finger in the dam, plugging up the holes, which are numerous and can't stem the tide of flood, but he tries.
I teach, 6th grade girls math and literature, 8th grade girls literature, 2 computer classes (for S&Gs) 7th grade boys math, 8th grade boys literature. THEN I tutor 6 or so hours a week, then I am taking my final math class, which is not any easier than any other math class I have taken, save I have seen many of these concepts before, have taken calculus no less than three times to pass, and really have such a stronger skill set in math than I did 3 years ago. My students love me Paul. And of course, I love them. I knock it out of the ball park when I teach. I really do. Hence, the very sweet card pile from my tween girls yesterday. I do each and every thing I do to the very best of my ability. Every moment in a classroom with students is a learning opportunity for all with laughs, love, and teachable moments. True.
And so, I was in car, about to meet Rabbi with hubby. Thought twice I took you off blocked list from four years ago when I stuck you on. I think I finally hit the right buttons.
Back in 2007 David purchased me my first cell phone. My fifth grade cuties had to show me how to turn it on. Me: Why isn't it the green button? That would be intuitive. Why is it the red button?
And so it goes.
I slept 8 hours last night in a row. An accomplishment.
Oh, back to now, sorry scattered. So, on top of very busy schedule, my mom almost passed away Feb. 3rd. Aaron, is Aaron. Too much stress.
March 13th-19th I had Flu Type B with a fever of 102,103 for those days, down to 100 last two. My big scatter heads seem to start with a big physical illness, and too much life stress.
So, I am taking items off the plate. Will be assessed if can go to work, which is routine and I love, Tuesday. I am totally honest with employers. I am not dangerous, everyone tells me this and I believe with all my heart, just scattered. Totally not my fault.
I cannot emphasize enough how hard I worked to stem stress since I was 19 to make sure that never ever happened again.
I don't over drink (most of the time), smoke (very rare), watch dramatic scary movies, participate in Halloween (too much holocaust in life from age 5 on, pictures, real stories and all) listen to loud jarring music too often (I do country now) etc...I guard my body and mind.
As soon as I couldn't shut up on vacation in a slightly different way, I called GP and therapist immediately. I know this drill. They sent me to ER for work up, they got me emergency psych visit. Only change for now, I upped my Celexa with GP agreement to 20 mg, was at 10 mg. They gave me some nasty pill called Ativan. Am to take as needed, can chop into smaller doses.
I was walking 5 mi twice a week with hubby and friends. Flu knocked me on my ass Paul. I was so exhausted and not well. So, couldn't exercise. Now I can. Does me worlds of good.
God willing I am more together and can go back to routine SOON. I have great routine at school with students, they miss if I alter in anyway. Is way a good teacher operates, routine with little to no aberration, keeps students calm. Some routine in their life, compared to all the chaos everywhere else.
Anything you wrote I did not get due to my kerfuffle with technology. Think I fixed it?
Wanna come walk 5 mi? Only if you can be nice. I am a bit amplified. Obviously.
Paul, when I was 19 and had similar episode, they DID NOT MEDICATE ME. Very unusual I am told. I came out on own. When I was 25 and you left for shoot, I didn't sleep much for a month. I was so distraught. I tried and tried to calm down and put the energy to good use. I worked at NILS. I got myself a second job. I got Karma. I finally finally visited the doctor, who only gave me Celexa 20 mg, and had me go to therapist.
That was it.
Today, emergency psych, super Freudian (from Romania) severe, blech (I have a good one lined up, they are all booked Paul. Mine til June 6th. What does that say about our society Paul?) anyways, psychiatrist I do not like suggested I have an unusual case of bipolar disorder, in that I haven't had this extreme can't control head thing happen to me since 19.
Yes, you and I know I had quite a rough time moving out of my parents home, which was sprinkled with love and had a dash of nuttiness (tablespoon?).
Paul, no one ever put me on meds. I requested. And no one no one not after terrible London episode, which began after me in hospital there for three days with strep, then extreme life stress, I had no one there save for equally young friends, had EVER TOLD ME I have any kind of bipolarity.
Therapist Maureen says I am very unusual due to all of aformentioned factors, and how aware I am when this happens.
Four years ago I was at that Crenshaw Charter School from August til February 14th. It was extreme. It has been shut down. They threatened children with beltings. The principal "humorously" told a five year old she would shave his eye brows off while assistant pretended to look through drawer for pretend razor, if he didn't unclench his hitting fists and unwrinkle his brow.
The kids were tough, mine liked me, but many needed help, including breakfast. Principal bragged to me one day how we had a breakfast grant she wasn't feeding students with.
Paul, it was extreme. So, I quit, and in unemployment court won my benefits. Because I was right. I told anyone who would not listen what that school was doing, won unemployment. Got job tutoring. Took trip to Israel with hubby to family. Took math classes. Got on that path.
Dad wants to walk, just txt. The calmest member of my family, except for my husband. Really Paul, my father is a saint.
Mom on oxygen tank, but mobile with her 10 dr appts each day.
Love me to forgive me. Have nice life. Thanks for letting me talk. Talk & exercise are paramount. And an occasional tamping down til I meet psych again Mon. night. Just trying to get back to where I was, while taking some work off of my plate.
This is my last math class. I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of myself. Math was my worst subject. I took cal. 1 three times, and passed. Nobody nobody tries and tries like I do Paul. And I have discovered, it is not my fault. Baruch Hashem.