where the writers are

Each moment leads to the next moment. They are each new, and yet bare similarity in some fashion to the one that came before. It doesn’t hurt that I have been reading Siddartha by Herman Hesse, nor that I have felt an ongoing connection to Zen Buddhist philosophies for years. What speaks to my life more than to attempt to sit within each moment I live?

I am the type of person who wakes up each day and wonders what the meaning of it all is. Even with this weight on my mind, I put one foot in front of the other and find things to be cheerful about and do. I like to do for others. It makes me feel like there is some meaning to my existence. Hence, I found my way to the world of teaching. In everything I teach in a classroom; as I teach it again and again, I get to deepen my understanding of the how’s and whys. How math problems work in a certain way, why grammar operates as it does, and how it is related to what my students and I do on a daily basis in our lives. Study is in itself a form of meditation. Like studying a koan, I imagine.

I appreciate when I give myself the space and time to write, like now. It is somewhat built in to only teaching part-time, a situation I sought to allow myself the time and space to study math in an attempt to try and better my monetary position in our western civilization. But I know that money is not the ultimate thing, space to have thoughts and feelings is. Space to organize a calm existence is, to have the internal room to sit within myself, and appreciate and observe what comes and goes.