One of my favorite past times is to observe the people and cultural trends around me. I couldn’t say for certain that they are all that different from trends around the rest of the U.S., but we have a certain type of personality that Los Angeles creates and draws to her.
As a vivacious person with energy to go out, a love of socializing and trying new bars and restaurants, the perfect place to meet like-minded souls of the same age bracket is through online social groups. These groups consist of others looking to also just go out and have a good time. Over the years, friendships develop as you start to see the same people, and recognize who you may have things in common with and wish to get to know beyond the every now and then group setting. I find that this takes awhile for me generally. I have all sorts of preconceived notions and barriers that hold me back.
I was generally a guy’s girl, someone who could shoot the breeze with the boys and talk the talk, as though not offended and one of them to some degree. Doesn’t hurt that I like to banter, and sometimes flirt. As for the ladies, I observe them from afar. Sometimes I am less tongue-tied than other times, like this weekend, things like book-titles relevant to current political trends were readily available in my mind for me to discuss. Other times I can barely remember basic things like the name of a cool club from back in the day, there is just too much going on with me during the week, and I’m too tired to have a lucent mind and tongue.
Lady friendships are harder to come by. I have to think they are smart in some way, and not complete dorks. Some may turn out to be that anyways. I like ladies who are goal driven, but if they have too much money I don’t relate. I will probably never own a house in this market, and certainly am not backed up by biology on the monetary front. Ambitious, the kind of person you unload your stories to, yes. But if you make more than 70 grand a year, I probably will not relate as well to your power woman, don’t need a man stance. Or if you are a tri-athlete; that is awesome and inspiring, I like to do hot yoga and hike a few miles as much as the next person, and would certainly do more of it if I worked less, weren’t studying math, or made it a priority like you do.
The thing that holds me back that later is in my face, is my innate judgmentalness. Preconceived notions like this lady has ho~ish qualities, has the reputation of having been with all the guys in the room. Not that anything is wrong with this, and not that this is necessarily true. But her boobs are always on display along with long legs, she appears to have a too cool for school attitude, while being slightly dorky, and God, what is with that super blonde, brassy do-it-yourself hair color? Here, my cosmetology school and living in L.A. background has left me knowing what a smooth operator should look like.
One lady in said group who kept showing up to events I would host was a very negative girl around my age, also a schoolteacher. Now a few years later, she had adopted a bubbly attitude and dates a million and one men. Apparently, had gone through a divorce that helped inspire the terrible attitude. She is friends with the other blonde who I had previously thought not friend material. Last year I met up with prejudged Heather at a bar event. She had gotten married to a charming down to earth man and had a gorgeous baby around the time I was trying insemination. I realized we may have things in common, and she was fun to talk to and actually seemed to have a fun energy.
Then there was yet another blonde in the group Traci, where again I couldn’t get past her fried blonde, weird side poof hair-do. But now that I have been invited out by the blonde patrol, I realize she is a professional and nice enough person.
Meanwhile my previous go to girls have all but gone to the way side due to being chronically ill and always, therefore, in a terrible non- social mood, or having moved in with boyfriends who never let them go out spontaneously, or at all anymore. Forget that before; and we are all in our mid to late thirties, they would all the time. The third type is the married mother, who dotes every moment to her children and telling them what to do each second, and attends only child centric events.
In the social group arena comes being on the edge of a group of ladies like the blonde patrol from an outsiders view, and seeing the underbelly of the thing. They don’t all like each other, complain out loud about one being too negative, one who thinks she is in the center of the group, how she always just asks the others’ about dates in a very obtrusive, bracing manner.
There is the one who has been with her man for a few years. He owns a giant home. The girls insist she likes to be on her own and have this man toy/companion on the side. The men insist he just won’t pony up the big Q, which is a shame since he does have such a nice comfortable home.
There are the two ladies where one called the other in confidence white trash and informed her that she is not good enough for Orange County men, and as having a mid-life crisis as she whirls around town in a two door sports car. Now the two ladies have competing events across town inviting the same people.
I take the social cues I am picking up from this group to be, don’t talk too much about negative things in your life, politics are alright. Babies or chatting about doctors and getting older (ick on the medical shit) is acceptable. Can they include a good name for someone who can take care of those under eye wrinkles popping up? And…just don’t tell too much, period. Go to peoples’ houses for barbecues and football, have your Friday night friends as my grandmother referred to it as. Maybe some go-to ladies will appear in the mix for after a day of helping other peoples’ kids, work in general, fifty mile drives in soupy L.A. traffic.
Have a beer, flirt with the cute boys, watchout for the married ladies with marital trouble who want to spill all to your apparently sympathetic, tell me all face. In the end, just have fun and hopefully rub up against a like-minded kindred spirit.