Went to the Renegade Craft Fair. More like the Renegade Crap Fair! Do people really need crocheted pieces of poop? Felt gnomes that haven’t a face unless you put its hat with mustache on? A typewriter key turned necklace? Your crap from your crap drawer piece of plastic miniature waffle, cake, worm, whatever turned into a ring? A hair barrette with a bow and skull? How ‘bout grama’s old smelly sweaters, turned into throw pillows? If you want a house full of crap, go shop at the crap fair! I love art, and artists, but so much of this stuff just screams a good, “Really?” I guess I like the more refined creativity, as opposed to, “I can sew two stitches, and now am selling on the side, or, trying to. Gee, sales are slow, it is crowded, but no one is buying." Really. Hmmm...
Then there is the people watching. All the big fatties like me. I am 158 pounds, 5’4”. So many big fat lesbians like crafting it seemed. I am not one, nothing wrong with being one. I am not a “crafty person”. I like creating things, especially if I can help my school kids put fun stuff together. People doing what they love in their free time here on earth is great.
Every other person looked like a dyke, walking around in “hipster” clothing. Big flowy skirts with 1940’s prints and materials, the weird chunky hair do's. Ya, it was warm out. Hot in the sun, nice breeze in the shade. This one girl/mom? sat down with her three younger siblings. The one younger boy commented that people just walked into his dad’s booth, exclaimed the pants he was selling were too expensive, and walked out. It was the theme. I was sitting in the shade, enjoying the breeze away from the hipster crowd. About 15 minutes into my sit, the girl/mom had finished snarfing her sandwich, just in time for me to observe her stick her forefinger in her mouth, scrape a tooth, pull out a bit of bread? And suck it back into her pie hole. Disgusting!
Whenever at these boothed, tented events, I am able to buzz in and out and see if there is anything worth my time and few dollars, in 40 minutes maximum, unless it is an amazing sample sale downtown in the fashion district. And even then... Today I did find a wonderful nameless booth that had very tasteful succulents housed in sand and glass, priced uber reasonably. I bought a medium one for my friend’s 35th for ten bucks. And…there was one French woman who made some very tasteful silver, brushed and wrapped jewelry on little leather strips, or off, who sold at a very reasonable price. A thin wire wrapped circle with small rectangular turquoise stones, and a tan thin leather necklace band with silver clasp, for 23 dollars. Okay in my book. Tiny, and tasteful.
My friend who loves the tschotskes, and wears them well, from the numerous Threadless shirts with Hostess cupakes skipping rope for mean carrots, to milk and cookies exclaiming love for each other, to the endless parade of now trendy owls, to the plastic rings; went to one booth where they sold prints of animals, dressed in finery. A hair piece, a collar, a pull over sweater or a monocle. Bought two of those prints. Spent a century at Cyanide Stitches deciding which $5 dollar ring to get, a button ring of Where the Wild Things Are? A plastic 3 dimensional green worm on a book? A plastic gray cat on a red background? A purple plastic jelly jar? All the while the artist's husband explained that they have drawers of this “crap” they turn into art. That they lived in one house, and every cabinet had some owl paraphernalia on it. How they moved houses, and this one has cabinets that don’t go all the way up to the ceiling, hence, drawers full of owl décor that will get a home some day. You just can never part with these collectible items, ever.
I finally went and sat back under the shade tent. Two Asian girls made their mom take a gazillion pictures of them making silly faces, with her iphone, "Three fingers up on each side of my face with my mouth open in an "O" shape, three down for you spells 'Wow Mom!'" It was pleasant sitting in the shade, away from the hordes, the strollers, the over-heated small dogs dragged across the hot, dusty floor. Plenty of an outing on a 90 degree Saturday afternoon in the sun in downtown L.A., in the “cornfield”.