where the writers are
How to become a top reviewer.

(Don’t worry, you don’t have to read books in order to review them.)

Life provides a lot of topics to write about. You just can’t make them up. Sit, observe and write. To follow up the first entry, Dasha would meow this:

A ‘top reviewer’ on-line is someone who’s written thousands (!) of reviews. Do you think it will take years to achieve? Think again. If you follow my small and quick Steps you’ll be on the top in no time at all.

Some tips that can help you to get on the ‘top reviewers’ list:

Step 1:

Make a list of what you don’t like – it can include anything, e.g., crocodiles, cats, broccoli, knitting, whatever.

Step 2:

Type each key word in ‘search books box’ of an on-line bookshop and make a list of books for each subject. (At this point you are already half way through to your goal!) Right, now start writing one-star reviews for each of these books. Useful phrases that will enable you to write a review in less than a minute:

  • I didn’t like this book (you don’t have to give the title of the book here – it’ll save your time)
  • It is about … (insert your key word)
  • I don’t like …(the same key word)
  • It is better/worse than … (insert the title of the next book on your list) but not worth reading
  • I didn’t like it (no need to type the title)

Your review is ready.

Step 3:

Now do the same for the rest of your list for each key word. As you can use your template it will take less than 20 seconds for each review.

Step 4:

Post all the reviews on-line.

Step 5:

If the on-line bookshop has different sites in different counties, repeat the process. Each (copied and pasted) review will count as a different one. By this time (in less than an hour) you’ll have about 150-200 reviews!

Step 6:

Now make a list of books you choose to like and start writing 5-star-reviews. Useful phrases:

  • I really liked this book (the title is unnecessary)
  • It is about … (insert your key word)
  • I like … (the same key word)
  • It is much better than any other book on the subject
  • I really liked it.

Your review is ready.

Step 7:

Do the same for the rest of the chosen books.

Step 8:

Repeat Steps 4 and 5.

By the time you’ve finished, you’ll have 300-400 reviews under the belt.

You can also use more sophisticated techniques to increase the number of your reviews without much trouble (including reading):

  • If the book has several editions, post the same review after each of them (they will count as different reviews).
  • If you want to personalize some reviews, add additional information like ‘… (insert any word from the book) irritated me because it made me sad/angry’. Or ‘… (insert any word from the book) made me happy’. If you want to sound very authoritative, throw in something like ‘The author should have used … (insert the word you want) instead of this stupid … (insert the word the author used).’ Remember, you know better than anyone else how to write books - you've reviewed hundreds of them already.
  • If you’ve run out of the published titles to review, go for ‘future releases’. (Publishers do advertise forthcoming titles many months before their publication date.) You can review any book with as little information as the title. (You can always use your templates – see above, - but this time don’t forget to mention the title – it’s all you’ve got to play with.) And don't forget to use your imagination. [A very good example of clairvoyance – reviewing books that haven’t been published yet – is here:http://www.redroom.com/blog/daria/the-review-written-three-months-book-was-published-can-you-beat-a-review-review ]

See, how easy it is to achieve your goal just in a few days? Doesn’t it make you feel great?

...

You are welcome. 

Comments
4 Comment count
Comment Bubble Tip

So Wry!

Alas, Your humor is so wry, surely many US trained  students will be convinced you're serious.

And your photo with Dasha is curious. Did you hide your face so as not to upstage your pet? Or perhaps you are wanted by interpol so unimpeded facial shots are too risky?  Or...or did you insist on taking the photo yourself, so you had a neighbor hold the cat in your stead, thus necessitating that her face be hidden in the ruse? If it's the later scenario, then every person in your town could use the same photo for themselves by simply cutting out a photo of their pet and gluing it over Dasha's picture...even easier than your book-reviewing algorithm.

Comment Bubble Tip

So wry!

Sorry, it’s ‘Dasha’s style’. I can’t do anything about it.

As for the photo - nice guesses. Whatever you think it is, is fine with me ;o)

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Review

It is amazing review without reading. Really, it is a good way to review. Sometime reading is boring therefore this will help us. But it is little difficult to remember those steps for others. However In my case, remember is better than reading.

.................

Nishantha

video. BookVideoTV, BookTelevision and of course CSPAN, but I like how BN.com and Reader's Entertainment TV have specific genre channels and original shows. There's just more to see and I can be specific in what genre I'm interested in. Anyone else watch online tv?

http://www.readersentertainment.tv

Comment Bubble Tip

Priceless!

Hurrah!

I have a follower! My teaching methods seem to be good – just look at this review!

http://www.amazon.com/Dashas-Journal-Reflects-Catness-Autism/dp/1843105861

(Cf. Step 2 above)

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 1.0 out of 5 starsNot the Cat's Meow, June 1, 2008

By

Dodge Dart

I didn't like this book at all. It's written as if it's in the cat's perspective, like the cat is telling what is going on. It's about a family contending with autism and how the cat views this. Although it's not for me, it really is for cat lovers. It is better than the one about cats with asperger's, but not by much.

Brilliant and useless! Full marks!