Kelyn. She is unique. She has the quickest wit of anyone I have ever known. She also has a way of bungling words that then become a part of the fabric of our daily lives. You never know what she is going to say or how she will say it. I needed a lift in my mood tonight and began thinking of all of the wonderful Kelynisms as we call them that have blurted forth from her mouth throughout the years that we now use in our daily language with our nearest and dearest and have decided to share some of my favorites. Hopefully, one day she will read this and have a good laugh at herself and at all of us!
Kelyn: Cheese is like peanut butter only different.
Me: How so?
Kelyn: You can eat them both with crackers and when the cheese gets soft, it is all spreadable. So they are the same. They just taste different.
Now our friends say to us, when things just get a little warped in all of our worlds, that cheese is like peanut butter only different, meaning that it is all crazy and tied together.
Kelyn: Oh, mama! That poor woman is going to jail for beating on that man that hit her first! What a tapestry!
Me: You mean a travesty?
Kelyn: Yes, that's what I said! It is such a tapestry!
Now we all say tapestry when disaster strikes.
Kelyn: I want a filet for lunch today!
Me: Okay. What kind of filet do you want? Chicken, fish, beef, or pork?
Kelyn: No, no a FILET!!
Me: OKAY! What KIND of filet?
Kelyn: You know, the kind where they have all the different foods on the bar and you choose? A FILET!
Me: You mean a BUFFET.
Kelyn: That's what I said, a FILET!
Needless to say, we all say let's eat a filet when we want a buffet now.
Kelyn: Mama, mama! I'm telepathetic!
Me: You mean telepathic?
Kelyn: Yes, that's what I said! I know things like what you are thinking? Don't you think that makes me telepathetic?
Me: Yes, honey. If you are reading my mind, that IS telepathetic!
For us, telepathic is now telepathetic.
After recieving an anonymous candy gram with a note from "a secret admirer" at school one year.
Kelyn: A secret admirer is just a stalker with stationery!
We still laugh about that one! She was just angry that she didn't know who it was!
One day after a particularly difficult day at school with one particular boy.
Kelyn: Boys are like stupid trees! It takes them 50 years to grow up enough to be worth anything!
Boy, was she right on the money with THAT one!
After Sunday School one week, Kelyn saw a news story of someone that had lost their life doing something that was truly not advisable in the first place due to risk of death and had the following to say.
Kelyn: Jesus saves. Just not the stupid people.
When someone is being particularly "stupid" we tend to now say the above!
When her beloved pet tarantula died, Kelyn was 6 years old. She inisited on a proper funeral for Herman, the tarantula. We found a small box, got out the shovels, black shawls, and Bible, and prepared to pray, sing, and eulogize. Right before we took Herman out into the back yard for his proper burial,
Kelyn: He needs to be Hermantically sealed so he doesn't decay!!
Me: You mean hermetically sealed?
Kelyn: Yes! HERMANTICALLY sealed! NOW!
We wrapped our box up tight in plastic wrap and aluminum foil, deciding amongst the adults that he truly was properly "Hermantically" sealed for eternity! It was a good thing that Kelyn agreed.
There are a thousand more Kelynisms with new ones occuring each day. These little sayings that only those closest to us understand and work into their daily vocabularies is a little language of our own. It is a language of friendship and laughter and love that only a privileged few have been allowed to share. It makes each day a little brighter, a little shinier for each of us. I'm sure in the future there will be another day when I need a lift and I will sit down again and let the world in on a few more Kelynisms.