Like so many other Americans, I was waiting for the return of Twinkies. They'd always been a guilty pleasure for me, and once or twice a year, I'd get a pack at a gas station and try not to let the girls know I'd had them. Once KidThree got in the car, saw the empty wrapper, and said, with great delight, "oh oh, BUSTED!" I also liked Hostess's cherry pies, and occasionally a packet of HoHo's.
So, when Hostess things returned, I wanted to try them. Over the course of several weeks, I did.
First of all, I tried a cherry pie. Uh Oh. It was awful. Ghastly. Nothing at all like the original. The "pastry" was easily a quarter inch thick all the way around and resembled damp cement more than anything that would ordinarily be associated with the word "pie." The filling was red, but other than that, was not identifiable as cherry. Fortunately, there wasn't very much of the filling to suffer through.
So, skip the pies. Unless you're parking on a hill and don't have anything else to use as a block behind your back tires.
Next, I tried the donettes. They weren't previously really favorites, but I'd had them before and sort of enjoyed them. Not anymore. The new facsimilies were slightly smaller and weirdly damp, as though they'd not been baked long enough or baked and then put immediately into plastic, all the better to steam.
Thumbs down on the donettes.
Lastly, I bought a packet of Twinkies. You know what? They weren't bad. At least, they weren't bad for Twinkies. For real food, they were of course awful, but then Twinkies never were considered real food. For a guilty pleasure with enough preservatives to make sure your corpse lasts well into the next millenium, Twinkies still fit the bill. The new ones seemed a hair smaller than the old ones, but the sponge cake was just as spongy and the filling was just as sweetly plastic-ish as before.
Thumbs up on the Twinkies.
Just don't tell the girls. It'll be our secret.