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Forgiveness

Besides the personal and family issues in my life hindering my writing output, I have to admit that the biggest culprit is--me.  Specifically, I've been caught in the trap of waiting and hoping, every day, for The Email.  That's the one that an agent or magazine editor sends to me to let me know that I'm accepted--or that my writing is, since of course it's never personal.  I hope every day for such a response--I check the mail with anticipation (though we all know that if you get an SASE back, that's not a good sign.  A Yes will come by email or phone.) and I'm very disappointed every day when no acceptance appears.  The same, but worse, happens with me and email.  The disappointment is much more profound via email, especially since I've received a Yes via email before (for "Hide the Weird").

So I let the daily disappointment get to me, and I get down--and the other things in my life right now don't help that--and then I can't focus on my writing, despite my tons of ideas, and I don't get any writing done at all.  This is happening more and more frequently lately.

I know the answer is to just have a daily schedule of writing, so that it becomes habit and not dependent on good news, or whim, or creative drive.  I know this like I know my own name.  This will also even out my moods, so that I'm not so disappointed, and so that when a Yes comes, it's just a pleasant surprise that stops the writing.  I know this.  I've got the books, the ledgers, the research and the talent to get that done.

And yet I don't.

I suppose I should give myself a break.  The stuff going on right now would halt anybody.  And yet the disappointment of not getting any writing done on a consistent basis is adding to my disappointment and REALLY getting me down, so that I'm more down about not getting any writing done, day after day, than I am about not getting a Yes, day after day.

I need to forgive myself these failures and just start tomorrow with a schedule.  I just need to start writing every day.

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I have these conversations also

I have these conversations with myself also. I write in the morning and it seems to work and occasionally I can do it in the evening. Since my little kiddo got this big reaction with painful joints and it was looking ok and than he got sick again I am not going to blog everyday like I have been for the last two months. I am also going to try to blog on Saturday nights until Fred is better.

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Does one have to write

Does one have to write everyday in order to be a good writer? I never went to writing school so I don't know if there is a to do list so once can become a better writer. I read books and read other peoples writings and I learn from there. If I had to sit and write something everyday, I think I would end up being too pressured. I don't know if that is good or bad...

For me as an artist, I can only do one thing at a time. If I am painting, I can't write. When I am done painting, maybe it's writing or knitting that will kick in but I have to exhaust all my energy on one thing before I hope to the next otherwise, I find my thoughts in a mess!

Then I end up having to find forgiveness in myself for creating a mess of sorts...

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Whatever Works

No, Rina, you're right.  Whatever works for people, is the bottom line.  If writing every day works for you, then that's fine; if you're happy with your production while writing every now and then, then that's fine, too.  If the pressure of writing adds even more pressure than actually writing, then that shouldn't be done.  Writing every day, when I do it, works for me because I don't mind writing mostly garbage, as long as I can pull a little kernel from it.  Then I can use that nugget to write something much better with another time.

Thanks for reading and responding!