Word is several Republican politicans are thinking of establishing an ``The Old Man and the Sea'' award, named, of course, for Hemingway's great short novel.
This comes from a friend, Farnsworth, who was once a lobbyist in D.C., but now writes about golf under a pseudonym. Farnsworth heard the news while playing a round at Congressional CC with several lawmakers in the know.
``There's not a lot I can say right now, except there's a Texas representative involved, Barnswallow I think in his name, as well as a few other legislators from around the country and that radio guy, Rust Treebaugh.''
``Limbaugh,'' I said.
``Whatever. There are about forty or fifty of them actually, come to think of it.''
``Is it an award for new novelists who are old?'' I inquired.
``Well, no, it's to annually honor individuals and/or companies that draw attention to the Gulf of Mexico and the Gulf Stream, and we think Hemingway's book is a great symbol of that. You recall the old Cuban fisherman in Hemingway's book hooked a big fish and it pulled him up and down the Gulf Stream, nearly knocking the poor old guy out.''
``It was a tough fight, yes.''
``Sure was. As Treebaugh says, if the old man was fishing now he wouldn't have to worry about catching a fish and putting out all that effort. He might have lived longer – the fish, too, if it happened to survive all the oil out there now.''
``Don't you think Hemingway, who loved the sea, might be upset, his book being used this way?''
``Sure, if he was still alive. We wouldn't be doing an ``Old Man and the Sea Award' if, say, John Grisham had written it.''
``So the award goes to then . . . ?''
``What I hear is, the first annual The Old Man and the Sea Award will probably go to British Petroleum.''
``No kidding? That's interesting.''
``That's what the Republicans think. But it makes sense, if you think about it. For one thing, as Representative Barcelona points out, the Gulf of Mexico as well as the Gulf Stream have never been so much in the news.''
``You know, you're right. I hadn't thought of that.''
``Sure. As Senator Prextel mentioned while lining up a putt, `Florida's doing a lot of bitching, but look at all the pieces now being reported about its white and black and orange beaches.' ''
``Hell, as Representative Halt points out, people just aren't looking at the positives. For instance, anyone with a dune buggy, all they have to do is reach down, pick up a glob of oil, making sure it isn't a dead bird or fish, and slam it into their dune buggy tank, and, courtesy of the good people at BP, off they go, free fuel.''
``I don't think the oil-gasoline thing works that way.''
``Probably not. Halt's not too smart and he's the first to try to tell you that. But he and his friends have big hearts when it comes to conglomerates and globs of oil – they like to put them together and call them `congloberates.'
``Well, not in the Gulf you can't. Visbility's limited.''
Causes Steve Hauk Supports
City of Pacific Grove Public Library, Pacific Grove, California; Animal Friends Rescue Project, Pacific Grove; Animal Welfare Information and Assistance,...