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Strength Enough

I was sitting next to my mother at the nursing home today, holding her hand as she went in and out of sleep, and thinking back to the day almost seven years ago when my brother died. Michael was then about the age I am now, and nearly all of his life, he had been bright and strong and healthy and active. But cancer had so quickly taken all of that away.

I don’t know what he knew or felt that day; the morphine left no sure expression on his face, or maybe he had already mostly crossed the divide. But I remember my mother sitting by him on the bed, holding his hand, and comforting him with her calm quiet presence, showing no sign of the desolation I knew was inside her. She was eighty years old at the time, a thousand miles from home, and I remember watching her, wondering at the source of her strength and composure. Was it her religion, her belief in family, or as simple as a mother’s love for her son?

She doesn’t mention him often now, as her own disease works its ravages on her mind and body. I wish I could reach back in time and borrow some of the strength she showed that day, to give her back some measure of the comfort she surely gave to him. I can’t. I don’t have the power to reach through time that way. But in remembering, maybe there is strength enough.

 

Comments
8 Comment count
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May you find the strength you

May you find the strength you need.  I wish it for you with all my heart.

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As simple as a mother's love for her son...........

But you are strong, Stephen. By writing what you have written shows the depth and strenght and resilience your mother displayed by your brother's bedside. Your mother knows that too. m

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This reminds me of the Footprints-in-the-Sand Poem...

 

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there was one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life
When I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, "You promised me, Lord,
That if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
There have only been one set of prints in the sand.
Why, When I have needed you most, you have not been there for me?"
The Lord replied,
"The times when you have seen only one set of footprints
Is when I carried you."

Mary Stevenson

Steve, you are being strengthened through it all. You do have strength enough. We pray it will continue.

God bless you and your Mom.

Rosy

x

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Thank You All

You are very kind.

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What a wonderful post!  I was

What a wonderful post!  I was pleasantly surprised to see writing in length as I am quite used to your witty one liners.

I feel the inner strength reading your blog.

Wonderful piece.

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Thank Rina

Glad you enjoy the shorter posts too.

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You are your mother's

You are your mother's son.

You have in you what she is.

With deepest respect for your sorrows and your hidden strengths.

~ Harrison

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Thank You Harrison

A great compliment. Her strength continues to amaze me.