by Jay Payleitner
Yes, I know. You're probably wondering about a review of this type of book being here on my blog. Well, I have two reasons I can think of right away to why I chose to put this here. First: It's my blog and I can do what I like. Second: This book interested me.
Now, I don't want anybody to get the idea I'm going to dive down the nonfiction or guidebook or self help path and I don't want queries about sending me these types of books. Stick to my guidelines, please. This was a rare exception.
This is a small book (only 170 pages) with snippets of the things a husband need to do or not do in order to give his wife what she needs in their marriage. Topics range from kissing to leadership, being a dad, and not sweating the small stuff. Author Jay Payleitner begins with a simple rule of marriage: that is not a 50/50 process whereby each partner has his and her totally separate roles. He points out that duties and responsibilities are shared, overlap, and are sometimes separate but marriage is a 100/100.
He then moves into the 52 areas of concern starting with: realizing your wife is present and to acknowledge her presence and to remember why you married her in the first place. Subsequent chapters discuss the importance of church attendance and church activity, proper communication regarding bedroom intimacy, initiating apologies, and being the handyman. Payleitner constantly refers to Christian ideals and each chapter is summarized in a few sentences with quotes from various people and sources.
I'm a single man, but I found this book very enlightening and encouraging and educational. This is not just for married men although it pertains to marriage. However, this is a guide to improving oneself, not only with the wife, but with God, and children. It can help a man be a better person as well as a better husband. I think one of the most important chapters pertains to putting the wife second and God first and as both husband and wife move closer to God, they move closer together. I found it interesting that the longest chapter (just over three pages) dealt with the issue of pornography. There are discussions of adultery but Chapter 44 deals with the humanity of and men's perceptions of women. Yes, the book is a fast read, but the short chapters are good because they can be quick reminders to husbands. There are some serious chapters but there is a lot of good-natured humor throughout. It accentuates positive over negative, doesn't insult or degrade, but encourages and supports.
Since it's not fiction there are no characters to discuss. Payleitner mentions himself and his wife Rita. Throughout the book you do get insights into their family life and a very surface view into personalities, but it's not an in depth exploration. It's not that kind of book and a couple of places he specifically tells you he won't go deeper because the topic is between his wife and him.
Again no conversations but I can imagine sitting around chatting with the author about these subjects.
Short chapters. Short summary and relevant quote at the end of each chapter.
Simple to understand language. No profanity. High level of Christian advice and references. Fast read. This is not a long lecture type or lengthy complicated how-to. Some good humor, some humility and admittance of personal faults. Very supportive and encouraging.