I believe I have come up with a solution to the energy crisis. We should harness the energy of a litter of puppies. As I write, I have six in all matter of whirling dervish activities. They dash off together and apart, wrestling, tugging, climbing, and playing in other ways. Then, all at once, they drop where they are and fall so sound asleep they are difficult to wake. This state of catatonia is far too short before the bedlam erupts again.
If we could harness just a small fraction of this energy, think of the electric devices we could power. Unpolluting -- well, mostly unpolluting -- and happy to serve, teams of puppies could each take turns reducing a pile of household items to shreds. As they grew out of the worst of the shredding, they could be trained to be good companions and placed in loving homes.
The poo in this plan, for there would be poo, is what to do with that portion of the puppy. It could be composted and used to fertilize fields of food or other important crops. Although not something to try at home, poo can be composted into safe, rich, dirt if the compost pile is kept hot enough. This is done by a proper mixture of poo and plant remains, turned on a regular basis to cook the microbes dead. The shredded household objects would be of use here, as they are mostly fiber and can be composted. If the items are properly chosen, the energy facility could be bulldozed out after each shift and the remains of items and the attached poo could be composted on site.
All that, alas, is far in the future. For now, I spend my writing time trying to prevent shredding and the puppy's all too brief sleeps trying to write.