I have been absent from this blog, and I'm not quite sure why. Somehow my creativity was blocked, or I blocked it... not sure really. Life for me has changed dramatically. I just read a blog of mine from November 2010, and in it I mentioned feeling as if I was on the verge of something new.... and I even referenced the Wizard of Oz when I said I felt I must "follow the yellow brick road." I write this as I sit in my home in Kansas. I moved from Colorado where I was living last year, and I, indeed, followed the road back to the state where I was born and raised.
I struggled with the change, more specifically with the thought of returning to Kansas. I am a small town, Kansas girl who broke free and got to live in the Rockies! That was such a huge success to me. The decision to return to Kansas was challenging. At times, it was tinged with failure. Did I fail by coming back? It crosses my mind at times. Yet, I have a wonderful job as a psychologist, my daughter is very happy, and my husband is living in the same home as us for the first time in several years. My parents are nearby and hopeful to move even closer. I've had family visit already with more on their way this weekend. I sit in my home feeling a sense of peace, but still a yearning.
I honestly haven't quite named the yearning. I think it's a book. I wrote a friend recently how it feels as if there is a book that I'm meant to give birth too. I even jokingly said 9 months.... it'll happen in 9 months, which puts the birth of my book in July 2012. The book has photos and narrative. It oddly feels already written. All I must do is capture it on paper.
Somehow I think it's about the yellow brick road.... my journey down it and back.