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Sherrie Theriault's Blog

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January 18     THERE IS A TREE   There is a tree in the woods.  I’ve seen it.  It is cut off from any visible source of strength or sustenance.  Carried aloft by the surrounding trees, the splintered trunk dangles in the air.  It makes no connection to the forest...
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January 17     IN THE COMFORT OF MY ROOM   I sit and panic concerning the future.  I have come through hell, built a safe and satisfying life, but it will all end soon.  I can feel it.  The tide rises in my soul, the blood red tide of self-doubt and degradation. ...
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January 16      FEEDING SQUIRRELS ON A ONE LANE BRIDGE   Cattle corn spread on the single Lane Bridge---the trap.  Food or safety?  There are plenty of other choices; my disease sees none of them.  Gluttony and danger the perfect combination.  How can I...
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January 15   NO MAPS     Maps have existed longer than I have.  By the time of my birth, aerial photography had made pinpoint accuracy the norm.  I can be tracked by satellite on my daily commute.  I can get a Trip Tik and travel to the far reaches of this continent. "...
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January 14     GRAVITY WORKS ALL THE TIME   Limits and boundaries are a drag.  I hate feeling tied to the ground.  I know I could fly if not for unseen forces.  I sense myself lightening, smoothing, I drop my burdens; I pick up speed.  Fourth dimension!  Hell...
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January 13   CATCH       How can my sensibility catch my intellect?  Or find a map with enough information to get my heart to the current location of my mind?  What are the common markers recognized by soul and brain?  I know the pulse of my wrist is counter-...
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January 12   LIFE IS TOO GOOD   I know it sounds crazy.  Is crazy.  But I hate having the fear, the gnawing gut of “what if I can’t maintain this”?   The sober life I live, what if I get struck unable to connect to my Higher Power?  I had a spiritual awakening;...
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January 11   LONELINESS EATS MY LUNCH   There are days loneliness eats my lunch and I can’t fight back.  How can I stand it?  How can it still be this bad?  I pull out the old chestnuts:  If I’m not happy with what I have, how could I be happier with more?   ...
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January 10   BREAKING MY OWN GLASS   The police of a small town caught a serial glass breaker today.  The man who owned a plate glass repair shop was breaking store front windows.  I break my own.  I go through my life; I slash my own tires and break my own glass.  I...
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January 9     IN A BACKWATER     There is a place so removed, uninspired, ignorance flourishes.  I hate to go there.  I avoid it when I can. Today I could not avoid it.  Today I saw the gable end of a small barn, half hidden in the scrub trees.  On the face...
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January 8     OLD GOLDFISH   I got them when my sobriety was new.  They were tiny little guys, ten-cent feeders.  I wanted my stepson to sleep soundly in our strange jumble of a home, fresh from purchase.  The tank sat on a dresser under his elevated bed, space to fit...
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January 7   HELP FROM STRANGE SOURCES     I can not get my mind wrapped around the places I find help.  I struggle with believing I have been helped; I struggle with disbelief at my own resistance.  I am helped daily by many tiny things seen and unseen.  I realize now...
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January 6     MARIAN   Even if the whole world was created in a cipher and whirls off into nothingness, this is still not a commentary on the existence of God.  We have today.  For this moment of sobriety there is a power greater than my despair, my apprehension and it...
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January 5     THE BAG   I saw a bag at the top of a tall tree.  Full of air, the wind pushing it; it rocked back and forth, held by the stub of a branch.  It is so beautiful, so lucky, so blessed. My sponsor frowns.  “Beautiful, yes,” she says.  “Lucky and blessed...
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January 4   THE FLOCK   Today I came to a place in the road covered with birds.  The nearby fields, covered in birds, the trees covered.  As I approached, the birds took wing.  The flock responded to my presence; each bird flew, the sky darkened with their flight; wave upon...
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