I know just how hard it is to pick up the right tools. It's like I know I have a hammer in the drawer, in fact I have two, so, why oh, why do I feel compelled to hit things with the heel of my shoe? Trust and believe it is ineffective at best; additionally it is embarrassing. I wish I could say I have done this a handful of times, unfortunately, I have done it over and over, it’s hell on my shoes and worse on my morale. Using what is at hand or foot may seem practical, but it is not prudent. Walking myself through the step by step process; reading and following directions is easier but only when I disengage the lie that says it’s harder.
Build a canopy over elucidation
SAFETY IN MY CHAIR
I have to sit with my knees
Tucked up under my chin
My feet can’t touch the floor
At these moments I hug my legs to me.
I feel contained
But somehow adrift in my chair.
I center my mind on breath and pulse
Pure fear flits and flutters
While I gain my composure.
When I feel safe enough
To put one foot down
Then the other and connect
With the world again.
I am leaving home to embark this earthly trek
The journey is there for me everyday
But some days I curl up in my chair.
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault