April 21

SOLIDITY

Apprehension stands in the archeological site that is my life…listening.  Listening for the rumble of a cement truck to come and help solidify the shifting and tenuous nature of my existence.  A wet and sloppy solution.  A solution to be raked and smoothed, covered and cured.  Something to build a monument on or a place to park my car.  The nearby grass looks lush and green but I dare not leave apprehension alone or it spreads.  I stand with it on bad days and against it on good ones.  I pray for the mixer to arrive or at least the gravel spreader.  I need to fill this hole so it can be a life and stop being a grave.

When your emotions are at low tide, explore the shoreline for shells and trinkets.

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More Better

When I take a break from my idyllic life,

trading up to paradise,

I balk at thoughts of returning

to the simply marvelous

day to day I have worked so hard to attain.

Self accusation floods under the door,

but I whimilate it with fact.

My reluctance to turn my back on a good thing

is an asset which many days keeps me sober.

I greedily seize every improvement

and hold on for dear life.

If reflections of the past

even held a glimmer for me I might worry;

I turn from all but the highest good.

I don’t regret the past

but I shall never return to it.