May 26

HOME TO HOPE

Shadows of doubt fall across my face on dark days and I have trouble finding my way home to hope.  Reliance on sunshine fails me come dusk.  Twinkling stars bare their souls to little avail.  I am lost.  Absurdity and obsession plague me for time and attention.  I wander deeper into a dismal wood.  How can I chop my way free?  Dejection dulls my senses; I am blind to solemn assurance.  I must reevaluate the shimmering enthusiasm from the night sky.  Skepticism passes like storm clouds, I may feel the rain for a time; necessity reigns on both sides of every street but still I can crawl into my bed.  Morning will come and I will fear less the coming night.

Hop right after you put your foot down and you can skip most of your problems.

*

Estranged

After long years I have made my own acquaintance,

friendship is on a far distant shore.

I know who I am and can recognize myself

on the street or in a crowded room.

I have a legitimate sense of wariness

of the  afore mentioned persona,

nothing too nasty, just a discomfort.

She is not someone I would bring home,

maybe not even share a meal with

but I can stand her, minus intimacy,

minus any deep empathy.

I feel an awkwardness in acknowledging her,

strange as this might sound.

She is no one to be ashamed of,

not a truly bad actor

Yet the reports say she doesn’t live up to her potential

and I have it on personal authority

that she actually surpasses it on most days

and keeps this a closely held confidence.

And there it is, I know her secrets

but I don’t keep her.

This is what makes me strange and her stranger.