Black & Dedication
The brand of equipment endorsed by my Higher Power is built so that my hand is clasped inside lest I feel alone or unaided. A closed mouth and an open mind work very well when I can manage either of them and Step 10 works when I can’t. I am usually the problem in my life but I am always the solution. Others may change and contribute; I am the one and only one, responsible for my happiness. Dropping blame from my vocabulary and adding responsibility, learning to differentiate between what is mine and what is yours; these tools are keys and they open worlds of possibility to me. Also they shut out the demons of wrong thinking, wrong acting and desperation, which used to plague me. There are still greater tools I yearn for but like everything I must be patient and build my muscles to handle the heavier machinery.
Dine with hope
The plug that lodges in my throat
From too much, too fast
Causes the anxiety to rise in me.
The panic fills my contracting muscles
Into rock solid revolt.
I can’t live, is the predictable result
Gulping attention, acclaim, excitement, sex,
Does the same thing
My heart clots and my personality stops in mid-flow
Everything in carefully chosen, well chewed bites
Makes the process proceed
My life works along workable paths
If I stay away from oversized freight
I can never swallow myself whole
Why would I keep trying to imbibe giants like desire?