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Punching you in the Throat #10: Hipsters & A Decent Gesture.

God Damn you are so fucking hip.

So goddamn motherfucking hip as all get out.  In your ironic fucking T-Shit, ripped at the knees jeans and love all all things "ironical".  Like YouTube videos of bands when you were only three that you would never put on at your own party.

Jesus Christ on a cracker.  You are so above the decade plus older than you.  Hating Facebook and Twitter because it is the thing to do...posting how much you hate it on Facebook and Twitter.

My god almighty.  I wish I was in your generation.  The one that would not know the word "Birthday Present" unless it was needed to continued to get laid.

So bad ass.  That is unless it is something you are supporting.  Holy Christ and all that is breathing.  You are so goddamn above it.  

Hey.  I know I'm old.  And maybe doing something in mass to make people aware of something that is relevant is something that is above your hipness.  You know.  Raising Awareness by wearing an article of clothing.  To carry a sign. In this day and age of technology, changing your Facebook and Twitter picture to bring awareness to it.

I know.  You don't get it.  You are far to hip for the room.  What good does it do?  What on earth good could it possibly do?

Outside of course, raising *awareness*

Well.  Maybe I'm living in that old school "Walk like an Egyptian/Purple Rain/Flock of Seagulls" world that you think is "Ironically Amusing" to post a YouTube link on your Facebook Page?  But for my generation?  We are the lag off of your grandparents.  In some cases, we *ARE YOUR PARENTS*

Know what my generation finds ironical?  Know what we find full of FAIL?

You posting on your Facebook and Twitter that you don't see why anyone would change say a profile pic for Awareness of something in your status update.

You see.  That is true fail.  That is the high watermark of fail. You just crushed your own hipster theory while trying to backhand bitch slap the people who took the two second time to do it. 

Not only on Facebook...but in less than 160 Characters on Twitter.  You see, Hipster McPBR...you just raised "awareness" by being "aware" that others are "aware" of the thing you find useless to do.  That points you in a new category of "Hipster Dick"

Makes it even worse when you try to be better than the 'Rest' by posting a link to the same people who support the awareness changing picks.

You are so fucking hip poo pooling the efforts of thousands of people who wish to raise awareness of it.  Please stick to what you know:  Finding a Dynamite T-Shit because you think its funny to have a relatively unknown black man on your shirt from the 70's the same year you were *born* 

Slactivism is not a word, hipsters.  If it is, please pull up a chair next to Sarah Palin.  Because me changing my Facebook status is called symbolism not Slacktivism.  You raising an eyebrow and being cynical and a dick about it in the comment section of the person who said it it is silly? Is.  But of course it isn't.  Slactivism is not a fucking WORD no matter how much you say it sitting at your computer finding it kitschy to play Halo Three.

I wish you were only older, generation below me.  You know, having the tact and couth of just not *commenting at all on something you find pointless* and going about your hipster business of trying to get tickets to the faded R&B singer to show how culturally diverse you are.

The generation gap has officially hit for me.  It makes me want to punch this generation in the goddamn throat. 

Thousands of these children changing their middle name to Hussein not only two years ago on Facebook now finds it old and passé to change a profile pic to help the generation below them not get their asses beaten to a pulp. 

At least hundreds of Dick Hipsters are wondering what is the point when only last year they were asking their friends what celebrities they look like...so they can change their pictures for Doppelganger Week.  To of course raise awareness of Hipster Narcissism.

There is your irony, hipsters.  Enjoy.  Make a mash about it with Auto tune in-between the time you are waiting for your fifty dollar check from the obscure website you are blogging for as you find "office work is for the weak".

We unhip old asses thank you for being so clueless as to actually raise awareness of your unnecessary, unwarranted, unneeded, passive aggressive snarkines.  Double the points if you actually posted a link with it.

I guess whatever needs to be done to get the word out.


Please change your Facebook page to from now to December 6th 2010 to raise awareness for Child Abuse.  Supported by Universal Child Abuse (http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Houston-TX/Universal-Child-Abuse-Prevention/16482990412) and Prevent Child Abuse America (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Prevent-Child-Abuse-America/14893558501)

That is...if you think you are too above it all to be your favorite cartoon character for a few days instead of who you think your fucking "Doppelganger is"