"It feels like the nerdiest, ugliest, meanest kids in the high school are trying to cancel the prom. But NBC wants to try to keep that prom alive." - Ben Silverman Co-Chairman of NBC Entertainment and NBC Universal Television Studio
You can send all of your mail to him.
What I find it funny and amusing is this: Apparently Mr. Silverman was too busy at numerous frat parties to catch movies like The Revenge of the Nerds. Or even more amusing, never watched his rival station ABC and Ugly Betty
Here is the basic storyline Mr. Silverman: Nerds get picked on and abused by the kids who will probably end up as producers or executives. They plan their big revenge.
Mr. Silverman, if you knew about writing it is a simple scenario that goes as far back as Charlie Chaplin movies, and farther in Commedia:
- Little guy falls in love with girl
- Bully is in love with same girl.
- Bully dates girl and Little guy gets picked on by Bully.
- Bully gets comeuppance by little guy, girl falls in love with little guy.
- Little guy gets girl.
- The world seems right and fair for the little guy.
It goes to Popeye Cartoons:
- Popeye and Blutto both love Olive.
- Blutto impresses Olive with his strength. She falls.
- Blutto beats crap out of Popeye...Then proceeds to kiss mangle Olive.
- Popeye (with the luck of the gods) finds the healthful Spinach.
- Popeye grows tanks in his forearms and beats crap out of Blutto.
- Popeye gets Olive.
I always wondered why the flying hell Popeye would even wish to have Olive. Forget the fact that she has a voice that makes dogs cry. This woman keeps bouncing from Popeye to Blutto at a drop of a hat. One would think if a man was manhandling you on a roller coaster to the point that he breaks the roller coaster and you are just on wheels screaming while he is STILL trying to kiss you? The next time around you would not care about his strength.
...but I digress.
It is always about the nerd. The little guy. The plots that have sold in movies, television and a lot of novels and books. The little guy struggling through all odds to actually make it.
These stories you buy Mr. Silverman are not coming from the sky. They are coming from writers. The same kids you squeezed into lockers in your day just before you went to your kegger party.
And in the end...when the abuse is just too blaring? The "Cool, pretty kids" agree.
Classic 80's teen movie. One lone pretty kid stands up to applaud. Slow. Another cool kid joins in. the applause is splattered a touch. Then slowly and surely everyone joins in to thunderous applause.
And you thought it was just a premise, didn't you Mr. Silverman? A selling point to make the masses cry. You see sir, writing comes with truth. Some very ingrained truths: People wish to root for the underdog who is right.
Your Awards party has been cancelled Mr. Silverman, because your cool kids (The actors) went with those ugly nerds. Because they know this as actors: People like you are the antagonist. You are the mean and ugly. You are the one who wants something for nothing. You are the one who refuses to pay your fair share of the work that these writers do.
You are Charlie Chaplin's nemesis. You are Blutto. You are Needlemeir. You are Mr. Potter. You are the one who gets sent to the Antarctic in Stripes.
You are the one who leaves in a huff at the prom when the nerds get the crown for Prom Queen and King.
Or better yet in this situation? They held the prom party without *you*
- ...Organizers were faced with the lack of star power after the Screen Actors Guild said it had encouraged its members to skip the show in support of the two-month walkout by the writers union.
The George Clooney's, Tom Hanks', Daniel Day-Lewis', Keira Knightley's, Cate Blanchett's and Johnny Depp's? They went with the nerds. Because the nerds are right...and if you could do this to the nerds, these pretty cool kids are next on your agenda.
But this is probably not getting to you...so let me explain this to you in pitch form:
You see Tom Hanks and George Clooney in a gym after Paul Giamatti gives a passionate speech about how we are all people who deserve to be treated fairly in wages. The music is swelling Mr. Silverman. Can't you hear it?
The music stops after the speech is over. There is a silence in the jammed room of beautiful people. There is a shot of Tom Hanks slowly standing up. He starts to clap slowly. Sitting next to him is George. He also stands up and claps off sync with Hanks.
Then you see close ups of Daniel and Keira and Cate. They also applaud in unison. All of a sudden the music comes back up in a tympani Dolby swell by John Williams with looped in thunderous applause!
Close up shot of Giamatti. He smiles widely. He says, "Who is with me!!" and drops the microphone with a screeching sound (we can put that in editing later) and he jumps off the stage and walks out of the auditorium.
He pauses and stares at you (played by Fred Thompson) and smiles. While hundreds of beautiful un-nerdy people file out of the gym.
He says something like: They know who is mean and ugly. And it’s not me. And he leaves.
He is raised on the shoulders by Hanks and Clooney and the entire audiences of beautiful people walk down a pre-fab wet street. It turns in slow motion and freezes...slow fade.
You like that Mr. Silverman? I'm telling you, it will sell in the Midwest! People will download this Mr. Silverman!
Now dontcha think it is fair to give me just a little bit of that download residual so I can continue to eat?
Ah nevermind. Let's do lunch sometime. On your NBC credit card. I'm not all that flush right now.
Causes Shaun Landry Supports
The Alzheimer's Foundation, NAACP, Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club.