For Christmas this year, I got a Voice computer program that helps me not use my keyboard at all.
Right now I have my hands under my ass. Looking quizzically at my computer watching my voice being turned into text. How I'm talking into this thing, is quite amazing. I'm talking as though I'm slightly retarded, speaking out all the grammatical words to put into the sentences.
Like the word.... As you can see, in order to use the word for my menstruation cycle, I have to physically spell out the word period.
The best thing about this program is I have to read a ton of text. Which means I spent hours on Christmas day and most of the 26th of December, reading Dave Barry's book about computers. If the computer had a soul, every word that I would be saying right now would have snorts behind it.
My hands are falling asleep under my ass. I want to use the backspace key, but I'm going to do this if it kills me. I'm going to write a comprehensive blog post with this boy's tax if it kills me.
Boy's tax? What the hell is boys fax? Fax??! I didn't say that! I said voice text donation point.
Donation point?! Oh. NOW you write the exclamation point!
My husband just informed me that this is now reading like a Fred Allen bit. But I swear to God, my hands are under my ass.
Oh technology. Yes, this is so much easier.
Now if you excuse me, I'm going to use the keyboard to use bolds and italics.
Causes Shaun Landry Supports
The Alzheimer's Foundation, NAACP, Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club.