Umbrella Gate: Something that is nothing to keep your mind off of anything important.
Well thank god for hardcore conservatives and Tea Party Members. They could be having a field day with our government taping into The AP Wire, or The IRS but I get the feeling they don't know how to frame work these topics into righteous furious anger.
Left Wing Media getting tapped. Can't be too furious about that. The whole idea of the IRS in general and some big wigs of any political affiliation getting pinged more than your average "Joe" not too much.
But if you get one stoic soldier standing with an umbrella over the president in a slight drizzle at a formal event with a dignitary?
There you go. It's a bingo. Outrageous furious anger.
Never mind the idea that every standing president before ours has had that military privilege. It's Umbrella Gate! How posh! How pish poshy, hoity toitey, elitist, caviar tub filling president of him!
It's a rainstorm of furious anger. Per say.
A person with furious anger and unflinching hate will believe anything no matter what their eyes tell them. You tell them Umbrella Gate is a Pomp & Circumstance Tradition and they will balk. When you show them pictures of the same stoic men doing the exact same thing for Presidents they idolize, they change subject.
That is when the wire tapping the A.P comes into play Ah. Now something we can all agree on. Finally.
When the shiny non significant rainstorm of dumbness has turned into a drizzle (per say)
From the other perspective it is easy for people who are supporters of our President to hold on tight and be headfirst in the avalanche of this particular Umbrella Gate Stupid. I have zero problem with picking something insane apart. Then there is playing with the picked apart pieces and chewing on them, spitting them out, letting them dry and setting them on fire. It is also dubious too: Hold on, Conservatives are stirring up righteous anger to their contingent over a soldier and an umbrella when we are super pissed and trying to clean up the IRS and AP disasters. Wow! Thank you for the volley assist!
Sometimes its overkill. And with Umbrella Gate, it's all too easy to find the perfect target to really pour salt into the wound and then some battery acid on top.
Enter everyone's favorite easy target: Sarah Palin.
There's something about Sarah. Something really wrong. This, is not a joke for me. Something is not right. It was even hinted about in the HBO Story about her and the McCain Campaign.
And where I stand now: The moment you post anything that Sarah Palin says as truth in anyway, you have lost that argument as it only takes one click in Google (or an attention span past one year) to know everything she says is a falsehood.
When you post something making fun of this fact? Well....It's tragic to me.
Something is seriously wrong with Sarah.
When she came onto the scene I'm convinced we knew as much about Palin as the people who vetted her. That means no one knew about her. People in Alaska, yes but for all accounts those were not very glowing either.
Once everyone realized "Everything that is coming out of her is a complete lie" Then you think "She's as dumb as a bag of bricks and that is an insult to bricks" She is make fun able. A glorious field day of watching Tina Fey give her an amazing go over.
That is because we thought she could take it. She was just a dingbat with clout. A pit-bull with lipstick with a little spinning beanie on her head. That is sort of typical in the political arena. We elect a ton of ding-a-lings. Mostly due to the idea that we have a lot of numbnuts in America who have just enough brain matter to find their car and get to the election booth and vote.
We all know how her story turned out: "Holy crap she's nuts. Sorry McCain, we would like to keep that ceiling intact from this lady. What? She just quit being the Governor of Alaska? Hold on...she's on a reality show and her daughter can't dance? What is this? FOX Picked her up and now they realize she is impossible to deal with. Hold on...she disses the RNC, finds the Tea Party so she can still be able to pull her hair up and say stuff to a room of anybody? Hold on..she found twitter where she can talk with very little words involved? Twitter is neat, I tell you wat!"
There is something wrong about Sarah that no longer is about Sarah. It's about us.
We have gone into Gawker Mode with Sarah Palin. We now wait on pins and needles to see what sort of "What Have You" is going to come out of her. We wait to see what she is going to say on Twitter the same way we wait to see what George Takei is going to post.
Except he is far more fun. We laugh with him. Not at him.
It's now something wrong with us. We wait for her because we know something is wrong with her and its going to happen.
And here we are. Umbrella Gate. Ms. Palin decides to jump onto Umbrella Gate.
Now here is the tragedy: The people who made a big stink about it from the first picture knows good and well that it is nothing but a smokescreen to take focus off of issues they don't know how to frame to the audience they are playing to. It's to rile up the Righteous Anger of an audience who has a short attention span or completely oblivious to the idea that every standing President who has stood in the rain at a dignitary speech has had a military person hold an umbrella. It's part of the Pomp and Circumstance of the event if its raining. It also keeps the president dry.
The tragedy of Sarah Palin? She is not in on this. I honestly believe Ms. Palin had no idea that the Military assigned to our President does this.
So instead of going the regular route of saying she is incensed she had to add some strange common man aspect. Of which, she honestly thinks she is.
She gets on twitter and writes: When it rains it pours, but most Americans hold their umbrellas.
Nowadays when she tries to get into the spotlight and tweets or Facebook's something like this and it takes one click to find that she has done the same thing? A tragic feeling washes over me: She doesn't remember what she does from day to day. It's a sad sort of grandeur of someone without the mental capacities to discern what she is saying or doing (along with the few remaining people continuing to let her do this until the money runs out).
Its so easy to make fun of her. One Google search of "Sarah Palin Umbrella" and there is the picture below I remembered from her election run.
It's all so easy: up goes the meme (A very nicely done one at that. I'm a fan of Bob Dobbs like clip art).
Even I wrote on this posting on Facebook under Americans Against The Tea Party: She's not even competent enough to get herself fully under the umbrella this man is holding. It reads mean. The inflection is one of a real sadness for Ms. Palin.
Something is wrong besides just being a moron with Sarah.
Every time I see anything Sarah Palin does it is no longer a big guffaw laugh. It's a sort of very sad feeling of us making fun of the kid with the learning disability.
Yes. There she is. Not the President. Still a Governor. A picture used before during her run as V.P. with McCain. Not some hidden picture just found. This was shown all over the internet and no one thought any different for a woman running for Vice President.
Just a person with another person nice enough to try to keep her dry holding an umbrella.
It's just brutal now. It's not even funny. It's just plain tragic. It's like waving a poo stick now. We wait for the kid with the slight stutter to stutter to make fun of them.
Of course she had someone hold her umbrella. *Of course she did*. Like any American who are money privileged for that, the honor of that, or just some really nice person to do that for you when you walk out of a hotel to hail a cab. Or your mother in the rain. Or your girlfriend. Or your dad when he is under your car trying to figure out how to replace the muffler.
Like Sarah, I'm not an American either. I have had the honor of someone holding an umbrella for me. Why? Sometimes there is chivalry in the world. Having a nurse hold an umbrella over me coming out of the hospital. My husband. For no reason outside of being that guy. A person I did not know putting an umbrella over me at my Grandmother's funeral.
That is the problem with Sarah. She will say this man was being a gentlemen and kind. And *he was* But it only applies to her. Not to the rest of us Americans and especially not to the man who took away the privilege of her having someone hold that umbrella for her as a Vice President at a dignitary event.
She will also say he was not in the military so that does not count. But you see she phrased it as Americans carry their own umbrellas not "Presidents Carry their own umbrella" She will say it was a slip of the tongue. When questioned why other president's have had the same honor bestowed upon them? She won't know how to respond. She will instead start talking about tapping into the media and how un-American that is....
Then someone will make a meme of her talking about how horrible the Left Wing Media is and the cycle continues on and on...
There is now something wrong with us now. We know how this is going to go. I believe Sarah has no clue. So, there is something wrong with us.
From a political aspect: She has no real following anymore and even if she ran 2016 it will be nothing but a breakup of the monotony of people with all the political savvy of The Rent is Too Damn High Guy. Lets let her go.
From a Comedy Perspective its just too easy. Lets let her go.
The cycle of what is wrong with Sarah. A little more than her having a huge ego and self entitlement. A little more than being someone not so bright. It's a little more going on there.
We need to stop gawking every time she says something we know can be debunked. We need to stop thrusting her in the spotlight.
We can't fix what ails Sarah. But we can stop feeding into what is ailing her.
We need to stop laughing at Sarah. She will never know the joke is the tragedy of her. Ever.
We need to leave her alone and let her find her way home.
If she is lucky, someone will carry her umbrella for her on that rainy walk home.
It's that something that just might make it right.
Causes Shaun Landry Supports
The Alzheimer's Foundation, NAACP, Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club.