where the writers are
Let me tell you what mood I'm in, Natalya.

From my junk email:


Dear shaun landry:

How are you? I hope my letter finds you in a good mood.

I liked your profile and I would like to continue our communication. Please, tell me a few words about you. How do you usually spend your free time? Do you like animals?  

I would like to meet reliable and kind man.
I want to trust him and share everything with him.
I want to create a big and loving family.  

It seems to me, that you can become my man. I see something particular in you.

You know, it is like an invisible thread, connecting us.

I really hope, that you feeel the same, dear!  

I'm waiting for your reply here (link) Natalya.

==================  

Dear Natalya.

How am I doing? 

Let me tell you Natalya:   It's not going the way I thought it would be going when I was a kid.  

Of late, Natalya, I wake up every morning wondering what the day is going to bring.  Especially, around the 15th and 1st of the months.  

This morning specifically, I woke up to an email from my dentist office about the idea of retaliation because I cancelled my appointment when they tried to charge me four hundred dollars leaving the dentist office for getting half of my mouth done...with me asking to pay only two hundred to not be completely cleared out before Christmas. 

This is with really good dental insurance. 

It pissed my partner off so badly that he canceled his appointment and he went to the dentist around the corner and got everything done (a crown and a deep clean) covered by our insurance. 

So now I have half a deep clean...a filling I'm now questioning whether I needed or not, and two hundred more dollars coming out of my account after Christmas...  

...And lord knows where my dental insurance stands right now.  

I got an email from this dental office talking about Retaliation.  Yes sir.  Half a mouth done, an angry partner and an email from this office talking about retaliation when all I did was cancel my appointment to see where I'm standing in my insurance.

Yes sir, Nataly.  Everything's my fault.  I'm getting it from all sides.  Makes you want to put a gun to your head.  Which...is really super easy to do considering the current gun laws we have.

Right above that email is a Vonage phone message email from Mid America who are the reps of Met-Life regarding the life insurance on my partner's work.  They are sending me some sort of form to have me fill out via email because Kaiser (our health insurance who just happens to also be where my partner works) has to have it especially from Kaiser insured people. 

What makes it even worse was the letter we already got sort of freaking out that they might be giving life insurance benefits to someone who has Multiple Sclerosis.   

Remissive M.S. sure?  But come one.  Once you check that M.S. Box you are going to get another letter (no matter how many forms I fill out) that just might as well say "Get a credit card with lots of money on it so you can get yourself cremated in a simple box. 

Life Insurance?  Riiiight.  Seen that Michael Moore documentary on Healthcare.  It applies to Life Insurance too.  

The email asks to check to make sure my email was correct to send this form.  Because I literally trust nobody anymore, Natalya?  I called them.  

They told me to look in my email.  But to make sure to check my junk mail...because sometimes it goes there.  Which, is sort of depressing in its own right:  Most email services considers the Life Insurance email I'm about to get *as junk*  

So I get off the phone and check my junk email.  And there you are, Natalya.  

That is how I'm doing, Natalya.   Thank you for finding my profile (wherever you found that profile).  

I spend my free time cooking, watching old movies and making fun of the internet by writing.  I got a cat.  I'm more of a dog person.  

Oh..I'm also A WOMAN.  See what I did above with calling my husband my "Partner"?  For a second there you probably thought I was a gay man...DIDN'T YOU, NATALYA  

Of course you see something particular in me.  We have the same type of genitals.  

It sucks for me I have been burdened with not only a man's name?  But one that is also spelled that way too.  It's why I have custom made stamps when I send out things to people who don't know me.  Just to inform them that this Shaun Landry does not come with a Mr. in front of it.

 
It's why you are probably in my junk mail. A million lonely guys named Shaun just got your email, got the hopeful impression you looked liked this with the need to raise a family, then clicked onto your link and got Computer AIDS.  

Yes.  We have an invisible thread connecting us.  And that invisible thread is wrapped in invisible razors...you horrible spammy bitch where I'm sure your real name is Fred.  

I'm in a mood, Natalya.  A really bad one.  I have to go to my junk mail to find my Life Insurance paperwork to run across you.  

I hope you are able to find someone to create a big loving family with. I'm not that person, Natalya.  I can't have kids.  Whole different story. 

I'm in a mood, Natalya....and it aint good.  

Good luck to you, Natalya.  Since you are able to find my email, maybe you will be able to find this blog.

Sincerely,
One of the many Shaun's you just spammed.