I wonder how long it took for Silda Wall Spitzer to pull herself together before she was hauled in front of the camera. How much crying did she get out? What sort of eye makeup she used to cover the puffiness. What sort of decent mood relaxants to numb her enough to stand there for a full hour.
Where did she go after it was all done? Did they both go home together? Did she run away? Did she just numbly get on a plane without him to go home and look at her Harvard Law Degree and go "What in gods name has happened here"
I wonder. I really do. I wonder what this woman is really, really feeling right now. Everyone is not the die hard "I'm not like Tammy Wynette" and yet still stand by your man after every extra marital affair Bill has had. When did this become the "Norm" instead of the "Exception" for political wives?
There has to be some numbing agent. There must be some sort of underground class for women at top ten ivory league universities: Grin and Bear it: How to marry a politician straight or gay.
Why is the American public, most of us who have kicked their men to the curb over these indiscretions relegated to watch apparently well educated, forward thinking women stand gripping the hand of a man who has spent thousands of dollars on prostitutes and did not wish to wear a condom, looking beaten and exhausted with a slight faded smile on their faces.
And more importantly: Why are we privy to this nightmarish display from hell? Why is this a political issue? This is a personal issue that should be kept either in marriage counseling (the civil way) your marriage has already been proclaimed open (the AWESOME way) or the guy being bashed over the head with a chalkboard and kicked to the curb (my mom's way).
Curb? Your black ass. Your black ass? Curb.
I watched Silda Wall Spitzer on that stage, and yes like many women I was just waiting for any of the ways mentioned to this question: Mrs. Spitzer...how do you feel about your husband's transgressions?
The Civil Way: You know what? I'm not happy with this at all. Not even in the slightest. We probably need to spend some time in marriage counseling as this is possibly the only way we can work this out. If he is not willing to do this? I need to seriously move on, along with our children too. (applauds come from female press corp)
The AWESOME Way: You know what? (slapping his ass) Rock with your cock out baby! You should have seen the guy I was boinking last night. Hot. Former Harvard Grad. Stunning. Took videos. We watch it together when the kids are asleep. We got an agreement: Do whoever you want but come home to mamma and wear a condom so mamma don't get any diseases. Granted, we got to talk about that whole condom thing later...but hey...I know a guy who can custom make these things. Any other questions? (Press corp stunned into silence. Slow clap from men and some women in press corp to a rousing cheer.)
My Mom's Way You know what? (dropping niceties) FUCK THIS ASSHOLE! (the whole press corp goes nuts and starts taking pictures of the tirade) I'm going to be honest with you....he can kiss my Harvard Law Graduating ass! I have put up with a ton of shit. A mean a TON of it from this son of a bitch. Oh...you wanna hear stories? Oh you wanna hear em? Oh yea here we go....
(Two hours later) ...and then he forces my ass to come out here! You know how long it was for me just to put on makeup to hide the lack of sleep and crying for this numbnuts? THAT is the bullshit I had to put up with! (looks at him) Yeah...thought I was going to stand here quietly right motherfucker? With your mouth all gaping open? Oh I thought this shit over in the hotel in the shower! Well Ladies and Gentlemen of the press core. Let me introduce you to Curb. Curb. Let me introduce you to Mr. Spitzer's ass! (storms off stage...lightbulbs flaring...live links to Youtube feeding madly. He runs after her only to be stop by a guy holding divorce papers.)
Since all parties involved (including myself) are roughly rolling the same generation? I could have easily heard My Mom's way....and wax nostalgic.
But I would be oh so happy to hear the Awesome Way.
If I am forced to watch every transgression of a politicians' penis on CNN? Make it fun for me. I wish you to be awesome freaks. I wish for you to be like *me*. I wish for you to not care as much as I don't care. And you to shine on with your freak flag.
Shine on, you crazy diamonds. Do it for your country. Just tell us you are AWESOME FREAKS.
Causes Shaun Landry Supports
The Alzheimer's Foundation, NAACP, Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club.