The internet can be a horrible place.
For something that was considered a learning tool and a gateway to knowledge, seems to be laid waste to a barren ground of racists comments on Twitter, xenophobic ranting's on Facebook and insane name calling on any given comment section of a major newspaper.
It's a dangerous world out there for people with electronic gadgetry. From your computer to your own telephone where most often than not, people barely use for an actual telephone.
The amount of randomness when it comes to getting spam texts from people is one of the main reasons why I barely use a cell phone. Very few have that number. My agent and my husband are two of those people.
I'm happy that both of these men have the common sense of never sending me their junk in a text picture on my phone. Hell, Hans couldn't if he wanted to. He doesn't own a cell phone.
The term Rape Culture is used quite a bit in our world today and the more I get onto the internet, the more I really believe its true: Women got it bad lately. And, that aint good. The idea that a man who exposed kids to raping a woman looks like he is about to get ten years in prison and the kids who took pictures and video and laughed while raping a woman only got two?
Yea. Women have it bad in this Rapy, Rapy, Rape Culture world we have made for ourselves. Even going to the police is not going to give you any satisfaction when someone is harassing you via text with pictures of their long hanging dick and balls making you want to set your phone, then your eyes on fire.
So enters a young lady whose blog name is "aheartbeatchanged" who for one day won my heart and the internet for all womankind. She has become Internet Legend in the best way possible, today.
How the story goes told by my interpretation:
Once upon a time, there was this woman who was minding her own business. Her phone goes off in Marimba informing her of a text. She picks up the phone and on the other end she finds a man named "Mr. Duddy."
Mr. Duddy likes to make new friends randomly. Unfortunately, Mr. Duddy hasn't really figured out how to socially do this without showing what he feels is the one and only thing that he has going for himself: His penis.
He likes his penis. A lot. He seemed to have found aheartbeatchanged, and believed in his heart he would be able to change her heartbeat to liking his penis too:
The eloquence of his text to a new found victi...er...friend... made him grin as he stripped out of his clothing and posed nude for his new found love. "This will surely win her heart" He thought to himself and he sucked in breath and took a picture.
Unfortunately the response from the fair maiden was not what he expected:
Sufficed to say, the Fair Maiden (like most fair maidens who don't know Mr. Duddy), was angry with an image of a random man's penis (with all pun intended) thrust upon her.
Mr. Duddy was shocked by the random fair princess stranger's rebuke. There must be something wrong with her! He thought to himself while looking at his own penis. This is one huge penis! There must be something wrong with her!
Instead of speaking what he said out loud and leaving it at that, Mr. Duddy needed to tell the fair random stranger princess to not only stay calm, but to tell her exactly what was wrong with her:
The fair young princess was a prude to Mr. Duddy. A horrible evil prude who has bewildered Mr. Duddy's kind and generous offer of showing a complete stranger his penis.
Of course this was not enough for the insa...uh...valiant Mr. Duddy. He fashioned himself as a predictor of all women's personalities in comparison to his stately penis.
The Princess sat and looked at his text. She knew good and well that calling the police on Mr. Duddy would be nothing but a minor offense at best. That it would be in a rape culture, a waste of time to even prosecute.
What would be the one way she could make Mr. Duddy stop from randomly showing his stately penis to unwilling and un-expecting princesses:
Get a hold of his mother. Online.
Suddenly, Mr. Duddy (losing his half erection and throwing his clothes on, tripping to get into his pants) realized just maybe he had done something wrong. Something horribly wrong.
He pleads with the Princess to not tell his mom, Mrs. Duddy. He pleads with the Princess as though they have been friends for a thousand lifetimes: I thought you would like it.
Because as we all know, Mr. Duddy is under the delusional idea that he knows about everyone. Even the people he does not know. Everyone should like his penis! He thinks to himself. I know I like it.
Unfortunately Mr. Duddy could not predict this unknown person's ability to do something as embarrassing as what she was typing, and started to seriously worry that this just might occur. It seems the princess main magic power, is to turn grown men into scared six year old boys.
Slowly, his texts become pleading, his assumed huge penis now shriveled safely into his body. He is starting to realize that this evil princess is about to send a message to his mom.
In a desperate attempt Mr. Duddy tries to reason with the completely random, not known princess he decided to send a picture of his penis whom then inform her she was a prude and will probably die alone and single.
He whined "That's not right. That's my mom" Not once thinking that maybe, just maybe other random princesses might be moms. Or married or any number of configurations of princesses who do not wish to have a pictures of an unknown man's dick sent to them.
The wonderful internet winning Princess sent out the last text. There were no other texts from Mr. Duddy. Mr. Duddy was preparing for the worse: An email to his mom.
Even while his own penis had now vanished somewhere into his abdomen for safety, he was still under the illusion that the worse was just going to be an email from a horrified mother.
But what he got was not was something far worse: The Rape Culture beaten by the Fair Princess. She not only sent pictures to his mom? She posted the entire exchange on her blog and told the Internet Kingdom: This is what just happened.
The Internet Kingdom exploded into cheers of joy at the brave young princess fighting Mr. Duddy's One Eyed Dragon. But the Internet Kingdom wanted to help with telling Mr. Duddy's Mom what sort of guy he turned out to be.
Thousand of emails poured into the message box of both Mr. Duddy and his mom. For hours The Duddy's were hit with the same question over and over again by people who want to fight the Rape Culture Upholders: Why do you think your son's behavior to women was appropriate was the cry of the land to Mr. Duddy's mother.
And Wow. What a fucking douchebag was the cry to Mr. Duddy himself.
And as though, with a wave of an internet wand, both Mr. & Mrs. Duddy's Facebook pages were gone. So was the fair princess' blog. The rest of the Drama of The Duddy's played offstage (and Offline) like a classic Shakespearean Drama. Making all of the interwebs wonder how awkward that next family gathering at the Duddy's is going to be.
But the legend lives on through rebloggng and screen caps from The Internet Kingdom making the Fair, fair "aheartbeatchanged" forever in the lexicon of the internet as doing it not only for The Lulz...but for the only sort of justice you can give to a woman being harassed of late. Just expose him. The same way...he just exposed himself to you, without ever removing a stich of clothing.
aheartbeatchanged put her own moral to the story on her post: Don't mess with me.
But the moral is a bigger one in actuality.
The moral of the story is: Women online are officially tired of the rape culture. And since current laws seems to give zero to little sentences of stalking, threatening or sexually harassing women online?
Well. I guess we just have to tell your moms.
UPDATE: The Duddy's have re-issued their Facebook pages. As the young woman who posted her screen-caps: "They are pretty easy to find on Facebook" There is no need to post a link to either.
Causes Shaun Landry Supports
The Alzheimer's Foundation, NAACP, Breast Cancer Foundation, Gilda's Club.