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Two Step Woman And Old Couch Dog Get In Over Their Heads
Salem

Two Step Woman was never really right in the noggin. She could never leave a conversation without taking two steps, and turning around to get the last word in.

This made people run away when they saw her coming because if you added to her final word, she'd take two steps and come right back at you with another last thought.

One morning, Two Step Woman was standing at the end of her driveway looking for someone to lay her opinion on. It was there she spied Old Couch Dog across the street.

Old Couch Dog was a stubborn man. He would get on an issue and not get off it.

That didn't matter to Two Step Woman. She just wanted an ear, so she yelled to him, "Hey there, listen to this!"

Two Step Woman trotted back and turned around, "Big news flash!"

Old Couch Dog's curiosity got the better of him, so he walked over and they met on the sidewalk.

"Global warming," Two Step Woman said, "They say New York will be underwater soon. You know what I say?"

Two Step Woman stepped up the sidewalk, and pivoted on her heels, "I say, too bad."

With that said, she walked away. She figured she'd go find another victim to lay her opinion on.

"Oh no," Old Couch Dog called out, "It would be bad for all of us. If that happens, all those folks will just move west bringing their city folk ways with them."

"Humm," Two Step Woman halted, and turned round to face him, "Well then, they'd run into the folks heading east from Los Angeles. It's going under too."

Two Step Woman did her dance, "Then there would be a riot for sure."

Old Couch Dog scratched his head. Two Step Woman was now half way up the block, so he caught up with her, "One's north, and the other is south. They would pass without seeing each other."

"Humm," Two Step Woman spun around, "Good, then they'll all end up in the ocean."

After the shuffle she added, "And you, Old Couch Dog, can join um."

Of course, Old Couch dog had a comeback.

The two of them when on about it, two stepping and chasing until late into the night where the dry land stopped and they stood waist deep in Lake Michigan.

A full moon lit a sparkling path on the water, ending at the far side of the horizon.

"You don't know what you're talking about." shouted Old Couch Dog, "I say a diluted sea will throw us into the next ice age."

"Humm," Two Step Woman stood firm with her hands on her hips, "Then I'll take up ice skating."

She took two steps and was up to her neck, "You could use some exercise yourself, tubby."

"Now hold on there!" Old Couch Dog said, chasing Two Step Woman under the water.

That was the end of Two Step Woman and Old Couch Dog.