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The Daily Sam: Why Do Teenagers Do Stupid Things?

 San Francisco—[A note from Sam: This blog has strayed somewhat from its original purpose of bringing you the most important news of the day, so today I am straying back.] A girl was injured at the corner of 14th Avenue and Santiago yesterday while attempting to jump over a bush. According to Steve the Crossing Guard several boys had been running down the hill and leaping over the bush when the boys challenged the girl to attempt the same feat. Unfortunately she took them up on it. As she approached the bush she had second thoughts and veered back onto the sidewalk, but she lost control and stumbled, injuring her leg. Steve said there was no visible outer damage and that her older brother, who picked her up, mumbled something about getting her to the doctor.

The incident raises the question: Why do teenagers do stupid things? I was something of a physical coward when I was a kid. I didn’t want to climb cliffs or ride bicycles down steep hills or leap into the dark, cold water of the old quarry. Later I overcame these fears, and in the course of my youth I jumped into quarries and reservoirs while under the influence of a case of beer, crashed cars into trees, rode bicycles down freeways in the middle of the night, and, well, generally made up for my earlier cowardice—which, in retrospect, looks more like sanity.

In other news, the economy is in a slump, we’re all worried about Pakistan, and the Yankees suck. Tomorrow: the most important book of the year.

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I used to jump over parking

I used to jump over parking meters. I did it without incident countless times, despite the advice of one of my wiser advisors that one shouldn't attempt this without a cast iron jockstrap. Alas, one day, I encountered a "double header" parking meter. I cleared the first one but caught my nether regions on the second head. Needless to say this was a painful and embarrassinng episode. It ended my parking meter jumping career, but fortunately not my procreative capacity.


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Don't give up, Eric!

When things go wrong, you have to get back on the horse! I don't know why, but that's what they say we have to do!