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THE DAILY SAM: WHAT WOULD YOSEMITE SAM DO?

Washington — The Senate blocked the latest attempt by gun advocates to expand the rights of gun owners today, narrowly voting down a provision that would have allowed gun owners with valid permits from one state to carry concealed weapons in other states, according to a story in the New York Times, which, for those of you born after 1990, is a newspaper.

My friend, crack editor and noted philosopher Eric Brandt, saw this story and posed what I consider to be a cogent question—perhaps the cogent question of the Obama Era: What will Yosemite Sam do now? To drive this point home, Eric quoted Yosemite Sam: “Ya better say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten varmaint. I’m a-gonna blow ya to smithereenies!”

You don’t see that kind of wisdom in cartoon characters these days. What we have now? Homer Simspon? “Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I’m the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane! . . . By the way, I was being sarcastic.” Or Peter Griffin? (Said through a microphone at a fast food restaurant): “Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.”

Sure, these guys are amusing in their way, but they don’t have the grit—or the down-home, homespun American wisdom of Yosemite Sam, who once said “Dragons is so stupid!” Who but the Yosemite man could have come up with this succinct gem? And who can forget this exchange with Bugs Bunny (Democrat, New Jersey):

Bugs Bunny: Eh, what’s up, Doc?

Yosemite Sam: What’s up? Why, you hornery, fur-bearing critter! This here is one of them there train robbery hold-ups.

Bugs Bunny: Yeah? Well, you must be Jesse James.

Yosemite Sam: Jesse James? Ha ha ha! Phooey! Why, everybody knows me. I’m Yosemite Sam, the meanest, toughtest, rip-roaringest, Edward-Everett-Hortonest hombre whatever packed a six-shooter.

No, they don’t make them like that, anymore. So maybe it’s a good thing the Senate decided not to allow people with guns to travel around the United States obeying only the laws of their state of origin, which, in the case of Texas and Florida would mean even small children would have to carry concealed weapons. But one can’t help but wonder, along with Eric, where it will all end.

[Preceded by a hail of gunfire, Yosemite Sam enters the Gunshot Saloon]
Cowboy #1: Yosemite Sam!

Cowboy #2: It's Yosemite Sam!

Yosemite Sam: Yeah, Yosemite Sam - the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombré that's ever crossed the Rio Grande. An’ I don't mean Mahatma Gandhi!

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You'll like this quote from

You'll like this quote from my novel-in-progress, Vengeance is Mine :)

.....Venny had often quipped that an ounce of lead now will save a pound of plutonium later. She had argued most convincingly that all the evils of the modern world were really the complete responsibility of a handful of people—well, actually two handfuls, plus one finger. The surgical elimination of these eleven cancerous boils, at the cost of twenty-seven cents per round, would nearly instantly transform the globe into the Garden of Eden once more. Most of Venny’s colleagues in the CIA concurred with her analysis, plus or minus a round or two.....

Eric

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Yosemite Sam Barry

Sam, it's time to spill the pinto beans -- behind that harmonica is a handlebar mustache and a pint-sized 'tude ready to let those varmints on the Embarcadero know just who's boss: you!

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Crack Editor

Jim Seybert was saddened to hear that Eric Brandt has taken to editing crack.

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Sam, are you per chance

Sam, are you per chance named after Yosemite Sam? :-)

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If only

I was named after a mere mortal.