Washington — The Senate blocked the latest attempt by gun advocates to expand the rights of gun owners today, narrowly voting down a provision that would have allowed gun owners with valid permits from one state to carry concealed weapons in other states, according to a story in the New York Times, which, for those of you born after 1990, is a newspaper.
My friend, crack editor and noted philosopher Eric Brandt, saw this story and posed what I consider to be a cogent question—perhaps the cogent question of the Obama Era: What will Yosemite Sam do now? To drive this point home, Eric quoted Yosemite Sam: “Ya better say yer prayers, ya flea-bitten varmaint. I’m a-gonna blow ya to smithereenies!”
You don’t see that kind of wisdom in cartoon characters these days. What we have now? Homer Simspon? “Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I’m the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane! . . . By the way, I was being sarcastic.” Or Peter Griffin? (Said through a microphone at a fast food restaurant): “Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.”
Sure, these guys are amusing in their way, but they don’t have the grit—or the down-home, homespun American wisdom of Yosemite Sam, who once said “Dragons is so stupid!” Who but the Yosemite man could have come up with this succinct gem? And who can forget this exchange with Bugs Bunny (Democrat, New Jersey):
Bugs Bunny: Eh, what’s up, Doc?
Yosemite Sam: What’s up? Why, you hornery, fur-bearing critter! This here is one of them there train robbery hold-ups.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah? Well, you must be Jesse James.
Yosemite Sam: Jesse James? Ha ha ha! Phooey! Why, everybody knows me. I’m Yosemite Sam, the meanest, toughtest, rip-roaringest, Edward-Everett-Hortonest hombre whatever packed a six-shooter.
No, they don’t make them like that, anymore. So maybe it’s a good thing the Senate decided not to allow people with guns to travel around the United States obeying only the laws of their state of origin, which, in the case of Texas and Florida would mean even small children would have to carry concealed weapons. But one can’t help but wonder, along with Eric, where it will all end.
[Preceded by a hail of gunfire, Yosemite Sam enters the Gunshot Saloon]
Cowboy #1: Yosemite Sam!
Cowboy #2: It's Yosemite Sam!
Yosemite Sam: Yeah, Yosemite Sam - the roughest, toughest he-man stuffest hombré that's ever crossed the Rio Grande. An’ I don't mean Mahatma Gandhi!